Three stories of nothing but elite weaponry. Combo-weapons like rifle-spears and shotgun-battleaxes. Pistol-swords. Grenade launcher warhammers? Check. I was pretty sure I saw a gatling gun that was also a flame thrower and projected a magical energy shield in front of it at the same time. This place was packed to the brim with high end monster hunting gear. AKA heaven. AKA the Keeper’s Bureau Armory.
My only complaint was that most of the weapons here required two hands to operate.
Which was, yeah, pretty rude, not gonna lie.
Tabitha skipped in front of me and twirled around to face me. I couldn't help but notice her eyes dart towards my crotch once more and look somewhat disappointed that I was no longer rock hard. She lifted her arms with no small degree of showmanship and declared, “Welcome to the Armory! Let’s pick your poison, shall we?”
She grabbed my good hand and dragged me past racks and racks of incredible weaponry, up two escalators, to the top floor. Once there she shoved me towards a glass countertop that was spread across one entire wall of the top floor, manned by a portly man who had to be about eight feet tall and only had one eye. A cyclops.
The big man glanced in our direction as we approached and immediately smiled.
“Ah, if it isn’t my favorite killer! Are you back to consider my offer? I’m telling you, Tabs, ‘werewolf with a minigun’ has a nice ring to it, y’know?”
Tabitha snorted. “No, Olson, like I’ve already told you, I’m not in control enough to operate a minigun while I’m wolfed out. I would just use it as a battering ram or completely ignore it. Besides, you know I prefer the classics. No combos for me, just good old fashion single-function weaponry will do the trick.”
Olson the cyclops tsked. “One day I will convince you to see the error of your ways. You could do some real damage with something from my stock.”
“Regardless. We’re not actually here for me today. We’re here for him.” She gave me another little shove and I felt like a spotlight suddenly shone on me from above. “He needs a one handed, multi-function weapon that suits his fighting styles and his handicap. Preferably something with an easy reload.”
I winced at her accurate diagnosis of my shortcomings.
Olson nodded appreciatively, surveying the situation.
“Hmm. A challenge, to be sure. Alright kid, let me get you some options!”
The cyclops tapped a button under the glass countertop and suddenly the entire back wall behind him broke apart into multiple sections, each section rotating out of the way to reveal a shiny room behind him filled with even cooler weapons than what was out on display.
Oh this day just gets better and better.
He disappeared into the secret vault—inside the secret bunker—and I glanced at Tabitha nervously. She seemed a little distracted but when she caught me looking her way she gave me a thumbs-up and reassured me that Olson knew his stuff.
Then she excused herself to, “Go visit the little wolf’s room,” leaving me alone.
Seconds after she vanished, Olson reappeared with three weapon options he wanted me to try out. The first was a gun-sword that fired energetic discharge from some sort of hex battery that he tried explaining to me probably a half dozen times before giving up and just telling me how to use it.
“Point the tip of the blade towards anything you want to destroy, pull the trigger, and watch it die. Sound good?” Olson waited for me to indicate that yes, of course that sounded good before he moved on.
“When the hilt starts to glow, the firing mechanism is overheated and needs about 20 seconds to cooldown. You should get about eight shots off before you need to let it rest, maybe nine if you pace yourself between shots. Ten or eleven will increase your cooldown time by 20 additional seconds, each, so don’t do that. If you fire twelve shots, you better stop treating this beauty like a gun or a sword and start thinking of it as a high-yield incendiary grenade, understood?”
I nodded solemnly and Olson moved on to the next option. This was more of a submachine gun mixed with a set of knuckle dusters, very compact and simple with an ergonomic grip and a digital display.
“This here is more of an electric option. Battery indicator is right behind your thumb. It has two firing modes and a melee option. Firing mode one is a concussive blast that hits like a hammer. Good for stunning those hard-to-kill Ferals you’re likely to meet in the field. Firing mode two is more of the spray-and-pray variety. You land enough shots on something in that configuration and you’re likely to short-circuit their fine motor skills, even if the rounds themselves don’t take them down. And the melee option makes your punches hit with the force of a lightning bolt. If one or two hits doesn’t take down the thing you’re fighting you’re as good as lunch anyway, so forget about it.”
Comforting.
Last up, Olson motioned to a sleek silvery weapon that was mostly blade with a side helping of gun. Thing looked like one of those wrap-around daggers that was good for punching or for slicing, only there were three short barrels going down the knuckles.
“Option three’s a little more on the wild side. You’ve got a triple-barreled energy shotgun mixed with the cutting power of a slayer’s knife. Slower cooldown than the first option. Brutal, but efficient. So. What’ll it be?”
I examined each option in turn before shaking my head. “What else ya got, Olson?”
Olson’s eye narrowed and for a second I thought he was about to kick me out. Then a grin split across his massive face and he nodded approvingly. “See, I knew I liked you, kid. You’re alright. I’ll go crack open my special stock and see what we’ve got for one-armed cripples with more confidence than sense.”
“Don’t forget the good looks.”
Olson scoffed. “How could I?” He stomped off quite happily after that.
A few moments passed and I wondered what was taking Tabitha so long.
After a longer wait than last time, Olson returned with two more options.
The first one had two gleaming blades protruding parallel to one another from the handle, which had a trigger built in and a revolving cylinder built into the handle, pointed down between the blades without any noticeable barrel in sight. Like a one-handed bident mixed with a revolver.
I had to admit, I liked where this is going.
“Okay, first up! This is called the Roulette. Very special model. Got an underbarrel blade and an overbarrel blade, and a slanted grip for easy manipulation. You’ll notice the revolving cylinder built into the crossguard? That ain’t for show, it’s the magazine. It’s loaded up with serrated filament rounds that have been quantum-coded to this particular weapon. Tiny little teleportation mechanism built into the magazine will zip all the spent ammunition back to your weapon as soon as you holster it. You fire them, you holster your weapon, it reloads on its own. Simple. Now for how it fires. These barrels act like magnetic rails, sending off dozens of hyper-charged particles per trigger pull. Get enough shots into your target and the filament super combines and releases the explosive force of a grenade. The best part? You’ve got three options for what kind of effect you want to charge your ammunition with for each cylinder, and it comes with four different cylinders. Feel free to do the math, but that’s twelve different kinds of ammunition you can send flying at your enemies.”
I was already nodding along with his words but then he started explaining the different ammunition types. He got through incendiary, shock, armor-piercing, and I was fine, but then he started talking about concussion and acid rounds and it was over. I paid polite attention as Olson explained the last weapon he had brought forth, which admittedly did have me a little tempted, but my mind was already made up. I wanted the Roulette. Period.
Halfway through his description, Tabitha wandered back over to us, looking a little flush but otherwise the same. She looked me up and down and gave me a strangely prolonged stare before turning towards the cyclops quartermaster and listening to his explanation.
“... grenade launcher mode, holding down the trigger will prevent it from exploding until you release it; detonating on your command. Or you can place it on proximity detonation, of course. This one does require you to reload it manually after twelve grenades, but I figured since it’s such an easy reload and it’s exactly your style of sword it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.”
Tabitha shifted uncomfortably. “Ryan, sorry to rush you but we’re sort of on a time limit. Pick two or three and let’s go, okay?”
I nodded to Tabitha then pointed to the Roulette, the grenade-launcher-sword, and the shock-knuckles. “I’ll take these. Thank you for your help.”
Olson seemed to be taking a mental note of my choices and gave me a big toothy grin as he furnished me with the proper holsters for my selected arsenal. “Stop by sometime next week, pal. I might have something else for you. Good luck out there!”
Armed to the teeth, Tabitha and I departed for the garage.
In the Garage, we were some of the last Keepers to load up. We moved to our designated staging area and found Bianca and Derek waiting for us, along with a cute, busty, and familiar-looking lamia girl whose whole demeanor shifted when she saw Tabby and me heading over.
She was clutching a tablet close to her chest with one hand, but with the other she reached up to unbutton the top of her too-tight blouse, fanning herself slightly as if it were a little too hot. To me the temperature was pretty comfortable, even laden down with all the gear Tabitha had helped me pick out. But I wasn't part reptile, so I guessed this girl may have been having a different reaction to the air-conditioning down here.
“Hey man, good to see you up and about,” I said to Derek.
The skinny guy looked a little goofy in his tactical wizard attire. His combat robes were a size too big and his armor seemed to be slightly askew. But he threw up a peace sign when he saw me approach and pointed at the new girl.
“Hey dude! Whoa you get more jacked every time I see you! Meet our unit’s new operator. How do I say your name again, Iowa?”
The lamia girl’s dark cheeks split into a polite smile and—in her best customer service voice—she said, “No sweetie. The name is Io. Like ‘eye-oh.’” She then slithered over towards Tabitha and I, sashaying back and forth as she approached, and shifted her tablet into her left hand so she could offer me her right for a shake.
I reached out to shake her hand and she seemed to melt slightly as she felt my grip.
“Pleasure to meet you, Agent Ryan,” she promised. Io then turned to Tabitha and both girls exchanged a look I didn't quite understand. Whatever it was, I felt like I had just witnessed an agreement of sorts, though regarding what I had no idea. “Good to see you again, Agent Tabitha. I’ll be more than happy to clean up after you. In the field, that is.”
Tabitha’s expression had gone completely unreadable as she gave a curt little nod and replied with, “I feel safer already. How’s your flock doing?”
Io’s eyes flashed excitedly and she gave an excited little wiggle—which made her huge rack jiggle side to side and was just about the cutest thing I’d ever seen. “Oooh. Full of new tricks! I’m not sure if I’ll get a chance to show off today, but I’ve been practicing. You’re in good hands with me watching your backs, I promise.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Tabitha agreed.
Tabitha and Io hugged one another in a display of intimacy I suddenly realized I had never seen Tabitha exchange with anyone else, then Io wished us luck and slithered away to go oversee final preparations on her flock.
For a second, my eyes tracked the way her ass sashayed back and forth as she retreated, but I broke away to return to the mission. Only to catch Tabitha staring at the same mesmerizing sight. I blinked in surprise and quietly wondered if I had misread some of her signals this whole time. Was she actually into me or was she a lesbian this whole time?
As if she could feel me looking at her she glanced up at me, winked, and turned back to the staging area. Leaving me feeling confused and aroused at the same time.
“Huh. She didn’t shake my hand when we first met. And she’s never normally that nice to anyone. Weird.” Bianca cleared her throat and clapped her hands together, drawing us both back to the present moment. “Alright team! Where are we headed?”