Six
Still communicating with Io, Tabitha, and Euna psychically, I made it to the elevator and tapped the button that would take me to the armory.
Selene stepped in behind me. She looked pissed and ready for a fight.
Before she could get a word out though, Lana flew into the elevator at top speed, barely slipping through the closing doors and nearly colliding with my face. I was treated to a view right up her itty bitty little battle-skirt before she twirled in midair and righted herself.
“Ryan! I think I might have someone who can help us distribute the cure!”
I blinked and clarified. “The cure we don’t have?”
“Well, yes, but I’m sure we’ll figure that part out. The cure will be useless unless we have a dispersal system. But I know a girl who can help! She lives in central park. May I have permission to fly out there and go see if she’s willing to help?”
“Wait, a few hours ago you were too terrified to help us fight a busload of zombies. Now you want to fly across the city alone to go meet some contact in central park?”
Lana buzzed excitedly. “I can fly a lot faster and a lot higher when I don’t need to stay close to a team on the ground. I can get there and back again safely. Honestly, I’m more worried about my contact. She can be a bit…sleepy.”
“Sleepy? Exactly what sort of contact is this?”
“Nevermind that. It would take too long to explain. I just need your permission to fly out and meet with her. She could be a huge asset to our, I mean, your team. I just know it.”
I had never seen the little fairy girl this animated about anything before. Ever.
Shrugging, I gave her a nod of approval. “Alright. You have my permission to go meet with this contact. But then you fly straight back here and fill me in on whatever you’ve learned, is that understood?”
“You got it, boss!” Lana did a little pirouette around my head and zipped away as the elevator doors dinged open, speeding off towards the garage so she could make a fast exit and get topside asap. I watched her go feeling a small pit of dread in my stomach as my protective instinct reared up and urged me to change my mind. The memory of Euna’s pink coloration draining out of that gooey husk, leaving only a zombified pale white slime behind, started replaying on a loop.
Only the tapping of Selene’s foot beside me startled me out of my dark reverie.
“We’re not done talking about this. Hannah and I need you. Not some other agent, you. You’re the chosen one. I know these zombies seem like a big deal right now, but if you can entrust Agent Blitz to help me out then you can trust him to go handle the zombie problem. The phantoms are a much, much larger threat than a pack of undead corpses shambling around the city.”
I stepped out of the elevator before it closed and rounded on Selene as she stepped out behind me. “I’m sorry, Selene, but I’ve already offered you as much help as I am able to right now. You aren’t privy to the conversation I’ve been having in my head since Aleksei handed this problem over to me, but my eye in the sky has already tracked down the epicenter of these outbreaks. We’re loading up and heading out to a graveyard in a few minutes.”
Selene looked a little taken aback. “You communicated all that how exactly? I don’t see a comm in your ear.”
Words failed me for a second. Somehow explaining to my dead ex’s best friend–who was also currently the host for said ex’s phantom form–that the reason I could so effectively communicate with a trio of (smoking hot) monster girls was because I had psychically bonded with them during sexual intercourse, mimicking their powers in the process, and could now hold a four-way conference call in our networked minds like it was no biggie, felt a little…awkward.
I settled on, “It’s complicated,” and started moving towards the armory’s main attraction. The quartermaster, a cyclops named Olson, was waiting for me on the far end of the second story. I strode past racks and racks of pristine weapons of every kind conceivable. Guns, knives, swords from every era on earth and a few other worlds besides, shields, grenades, basically if you name it, Olson had it.
But the really cool shit was the stuff he kept behind the counter.
At the sound of Selene’s footsteps following behind me, I felt a vein throb in my temple.
This moment, walking through this sanctum of firepower and savagery, was special to me. Every moment I spent in the Bureau’s armory was, in fact. To have it spoiled by an angry woman snapping at my heels felt akin to blasphemy.
I sped my steps up a little bit, relying on the extra height I had picked up since bonding with Euna (another side effect in addition to the cool powers was my body got a little more powerful each time. Taller, stronger, faster, etcetera) to speed me along faster than she could keep up. In no time at all I was standing before Olson, alone.
“Ah! My second favorite customer. How’re you treating Tabitha these days, hero?”
I smiled. “Well, she’s not super happy with me actually. She seems convinced that the pregnancy is ‘all my fault’ and seems pretty broken up about it. Some days anyway. Other days, well… let’s just say-”
“If you’re about to say something filthy about a girl who’s like a niece to me, I’d suggest you recalculate, friend. I like you plenty, but that’s too far.”
I shrugged. “Fair enough Olson. Fair enough,”
“So, what can I help you with?” The big cyclops asked, his cheerful tone unwavering.
As a reply, I unholstered both of my burnt out Roulette Rouges and set them on the counter. “I was hoping you could do something about this, actually.”
Olson stared down at the pair of beautiful combo weapons, his eye blinking slowly as he took in the steam rising from all four cylinders and the red sparks spitting out of the blade projectors.
He looked from the guns back up to me and grunted disapprovingly. “Yeah. I can fix ‘em. Gonna take about six weeks though.”
My jaw dropped. “Six weeks! I need them for a mission today!”
Olson plucked one of the Roulettes up from the counter and shook his mighty head. “Best I can do is maybe three weeks, if I push aside some other projects I’m working on. But uh, frankly, I’m not going to do that.”
“Why?” I demanded.
Selene stepped up beside me, looking annoyed at my up-until-now-successful attempt to outrun her incessant questions.
“Because you busted up these beauties pretty bad, kid. If you wanted ‘em ready for your next mission you should’ve been bringing them by more regularly for check-ups. You can’t just keep using these machines day in and day out without looking after them every now and again, y’know.” He sniffed loudly. “If I found out you’ve been treating my favorite customer as badly as you’ve been treating these guns? You can find your weapons someplace else.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose in exasperation. “Olson, I swear, I treat Tabby so much better than those guns you wouldn’t believe it. We are in constant communication and just earlier today I was talking her through a panic attack even while I fought off a pack of zombies. I make time for her, just like I make time for Io and Euna.”
“But not for me and Hannah,” Selene said bitterly.
My eyes shut tightly. This was getting out of hand.
I was being pulled in too many directions at once and there was only one of me.
Something had to give.
“Look, Olson. Take the six weeks, take seven, fine. Whatever. What can you give me in the meantime?”
Olson huffed indignantly. “From my special stock? Not a damn thing. It looks like you’ve got enough problems as it is. Until you prove to me you can handle the weapons you got with more respect, you can take your pick from the usual stock like everybody else. Go on, get!” Without another word the great cyclops took both Roulette Rouges and disappeared into his workshop, leaving me with an angry woman at my side and without my best weapons.
“This day just gets better and better.”
-
I grabbed a simple sword made out of the Bureau’s best alloy (iron, silver, a couple magical metals the agents liked to refer to as the secret “eleven ores and alloys” that allowed our weapons to harm every known type of monster, demon, spirit, or otherwise hostile non-human species) and sheathed it across my back. Then I grabbed a pair of pistols and holstered those on either hip. An ammo belt, a couple knives, and a bandolier of grenades, and I was as prepared as I was going to be without the benefit of Olson’s blessing.
The entire time, Selene continued to nag at me and explain why I should be abandoning my duty to the Bureau in favor of helping her and Hannah. Her argument basically boiled down to ‘Hannah chose you for a reason’ but she failed to elaborate on what that reason was or why it mattered more than the immediate threat of a full-blown zombie outbreak in Eastport.
As I stepped back into the elevator and tapped the button for the garage, I finally broke my silence. “For the last time, Selene. I have made my decision. Blitz is a perfectly capable Keeper and for the record he has a magic demonic rifle that he is currently the only one able to wield. That thing drops pretty much everything we come up against in like three shots max or one good headshot. He’s also got a katana that I once saw him cleave through solid concrete with, and these enchanted boots that let him hop around like a little frog and fall great distances without a lick of damage. If I’m being totally candid, I am a little jealous of his boots. The point is, he’s got you covered for now. The second I am done with the zombies, I will come help you with the ghosts myself. Deal?”
Selene shook her head. “That’s not good enough, Ryan. It has to be you.”
I groaned in frustration and slammed the palm of my hand into the emergency stop button, jolting the elevator to a halt. My eyes bore into Selene’s as I stared at her in the dim light. “Why? Why does it have to be me? What aren’t you telling me?”
Selene’s eyes darted from my eyes to my lips, and then down further, but she caught herself and looked away. “It’s… it’s complicated. I don’t think it’s my place to explain. You’ll have to wait for Hannah to come back.”
Rolling my eyes, I reactivated the elevator. “Great. Well, while we wait, I’m going to go track down the origin of all these zombies. You are welcome to wait here.” Selene just sighed heavily and remained silent, which suited me just fine after all the yammering I had just put up with out of her back in the armory.
The elevator opened a few seconds later and I stepped out into the garage.