9
I considered how to answer her question. I had several options, but the only thing I knew for sure I wouldn't be doing was giving her, or anyone, my old name. Not that I thought it was sacred, or a secret ... but it was on a grave somewhere. Then again, maybe it wasn't. I sure as shit hadn't been buried with full honors — not after what I'd done. For all I knew they'd rolled my bloody corpse into a ditch somewhere and left me for jackals.
Suffice to say, I wouldn't be using that name again.
"If you remember your death, surely you remember your name," Mauren said, prodding me.
Stalling for time, I said, "A A A Zero."
She blinked at me, then said, "That's your address, not your name."
Rolling my eyes thoughtfully, I said, "A a a ... Triple A zero ... Taz. If you have to call me something, call me Taz."
"Do you have something against giving me your real name? Do you come from one of those cultures that thinks names are sacred or something?" she asked.
"What would you know about other cultures? To you, I'm not even a ..." I trailed off because I hadn't learned the word for slave.
"Just because we grow our livestock from gene seeds doesn't mean we don't know anything about where they come from."
"You don't know shit about me ... or where I come from."
"You're a rare but not unheard of exception. We buy our livestock from another race calling themselves Reclaimers. They sell us gene seeds that we grow in tanks and decant just past racial adolescence. Every so often they bring us a sample of a new race to try. I'm assuming that's where you came from anyway, Director Lane didn't tell me anything about you. She just insisted I follow a special protocol for your seed, and here you are."
"So you can kill and clone me if you don't like my behavior," I said. "Why not just do that?"
"Yes and no. The gene seeds we buy from Reclaimers aren't the same as clones we get from genetic sampling. Clones have weaker essence and the decrease is geometric. We could clone you, but while the memories would be gone the essence would be pitiful. Your clone'd only be good for entertainment value and labor."
"I hope you and your whole fucking race burn."
She seemed startled, and I couldn't figure out why. Given how they treated other 'sentients' I couldn't imagine having any other opinion.
Then again, if most of them didn't come with memories like I had, succubi could teach them whatever they wanted. They wouldn't know any better ... so maybe it wasn't so far-fetched Mauren was surprised to hear my thoughts on the matter.
"Why did you feed me then?" she asked.
"Boredom, mostly," I said, though it wasn't strictly true. I, like most men I've known, have a weakness for insanely hot women and whatever else Mauren might be, she was definitely that. She was exotic without being grossly inhuman, at least, physically.
Mentally she was just what she looked like: a demon.
No matter how hot she was I knew too much about the mind behind the eyes to care about her well-being. I could fuck her the same way I'd fuck a paid whore, and that was it.
"How can I make your life more interesting?" she asked.
Raising an eyebrow, I glanced over to see her looking down at me with a pensive expression. She said, "I don't want to die because you get bored."
I didn't know how to say 'Sucks to be you,' in her language, so I shrugged and said, "Just stay out of my way and answer my questions. I don't mind letting you live. Your feeding feels good to me, so you benefit me at least that much."
"So you don't like me at all?"
"What reason could I possibly have to like you?" I asked, leaning up on an elbow to examine her expression. I wanted to see if the question was serious, or if she was leading me somewhere.
"Most species enjoy orgasm."
"You did that for you, not me."
She frowned as though inconvenienced. I chuckled and glanced away as I said, "Mauren, you aren't here because you want to be. You'll leave the first chance you get, see me as livestock, and your life is in my hands. There is literally nothing you can do to make me like you. Right now, no one likes you. Not me, not the people who put you here. As bad as my situation is, yours is worse. If I feel anything at all for you it's pity, and that won't change anytime soon. So if you want to talk say something useful, like telling me about the next test or this show you want me to participate in."
"You're a fucking monster," she hissed.
I twisted up off the bed to stand in front of her, letting the anger show.
It was right there beneath the surface, had been since I'd heard they wanted to make me a clown. I didn't bother considering suicide because it wouldn't make any difference to the people who'd brought me here. Nothing would change for any of them. If there was any chance of me getting revenge, I had to stay alive. Beyond that I had nothing tying me to life and if things got genuinely miserable I knew I could check out. What was God going to do? Judge me twice? They hadn't covered shit like this in Sunday school.
But I'd be damned if I took lip from this bitch; a demon who thought of me as a fucking juice box.
I said, "If I kill you right now, by this time next week I'd struggle to remember your name, and that's only if someone asks. No one would. My patience is limited and my temper is short. Don't test me, Mauren. I'll tear your arm off and beat you to death with it if you disrespect me again."
Mauren got down on her knees and pressed her horned head to the floor as she said, "Forgive me."
She said a word after that I didn't know, and when I asked got the impression it was essentially 'Sir.' Except it wasn't, because I doubted succubi had any male-centric honorifics. She'd probably just called me 'mistress' or some shit like that.
"Just call me Taz if you call me anything," I said, vaguely disgusted. "It's as much of a title as I care for."
"As you wish, Taz. So? Now that you have put me in my place, what would you have me do?" she asked.
Eyes narrowed, I looked her over, but nothing in her tone or expression gave away the sarcastic edge I was looking for. It had to be there but I couldn't find it, and I wasn't about to kill somebody just because I could imagine she was that good a liar.
"I wish you were a threat," I grumbled, turning my back on her in disgust.
"Why?"
"Because then I could kill you and get it over with."
She blinked, gazing at me in mild confusion before she said, "My being helpless makes it hard for you? The syban was-"
"Shocking the shit out of me right up until I broke her fucking neck," I interrupted.
"None of those shocks were dangerous. She was expendable."
"I found that out afterward."
"I'm not a threat."
I rolled my eyes and asked, "Think they'd add 'separate rooms' in the rewards list?"
"You won't get that," Mauren said. "They want me dead. They've no intention of allowing you to put me out of your sight."
I knew she was slipping that in there because she knew how much I hated whoever had put me here. Director Lane I'd heard her called. She probably thought I'd keep her alive to spite her superiors, and damn me if she wasn't right.
I still really wanted to kill her. I knew if I didn't she'd get under my skin. It would happen little by little whether I wanted it to or not because I was human, not a monster, and I have a protective streak I don't typically admit to. I'd done bad things. I wasn't apologizing because I'd paid for those sins with my life. If my daddy taught me anything it's that if you pay, you own. Anyone still looking for remorse from me could fuck right off, but I hadn't so lost touch that I didn't understand the hurt I'd caused, the damage I'd done.
I could snap her neck. It'd be quick, and as painless as I could manage. She was a cog in a system that meant to grind me down for laughs. That she was in here with me was a twist of fate. She wasn't on my side, and she never would be.
But she was really hot, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, and she'd be doing that on the regular because that's how she ate. I could only imagine what fucking her must be like. There was also what I could learn from her. She knew the system, would answer questions I'd never get to ask anyone else, and she was wholly in my power, at least for now.
So while I dearly wanted to snap her neck and simplify my life, I just couldn't justify the cost.
And I hated it.
I thought about asking her what the next test would be, but realized I'd be shooting myself in the foot if I did. They were listening. Whatever Mauren told me would alter plans on the other side and become unreliable. The time to ask her would be right before I left with the guard, and even then they might have two rooms prepared, shunting me to whichever I wasn't ready to face.
As I thought about it, I realized it didn't matter anyway. They weren't prepared to let me die.
"This show, how dangerous is it?" I asked, turning again to look at her.
She was still on her knees as she asked, "For you?"
"In general."
"Very. Typically, fewer than ten of the hundreds of contestants make it all the way through the season."
"They all die?"
Shaking her head as she put her hands in her lap, she said, "No, of course not. Many of the middle performers get auctioned off. There's a whole separate show about that. The top twenty aren't eligible because there'd be riots in the streets if the top tier got pulled mid-season. Not all the contests involve lethal consequences, but a lot of them do. They usually open with a free-for-all of some kind and we typically lose half the entrants right there. It's all about pulling in eyeballs for the start of the season so people can invest in and pick their favorites from among the survivors."
I blinked. That sounded nothing like the reality TV I knew. Given the whole thing was run by succubi, I'd expected some kind of fucked up reverse harem shit where I was supposed to romance one of these damn demons. Instead, I was being told it would be blood, guts, and glory.
That ... that actually sounded pretty cool.
I took a seat on the bed, rage fading a bit as I said, "Tell me more."
Mauren looked at me keenly, then smiled slightly and started talking.