Chapter 18:
Choice
When Nameless came back to himself he was cold.
Frigid water coated him from head to toe, worried Amazons hovering nearby as his teeth chattered.
There was some warmth in the arms of the Undine wrapped around him, but it wasn’t nearly enough to stave off the night’s chill.
Evidently she couldn’t keep herself from hugging him after all, though now that she was in his arms he could feel the scars down her back.
They may have been gone from her mind, but they remained on her body.
His concern for her faded as he saw her smiling, so instead he communicated to the Amazons exactly how cold he was, the warrior women quickly stripping his shirt off and wrapping him in a warm blanket while a slightly embarrassed Juni watched on.
“Sorry, I got a little carried away!” She apologized for the third time.
“It’s alright, I’m fine.”
Bundled up in a heavy blanket in front of a cheery fire with an Amazon on either side, he really was.
“Are you warm enough, Valkyrja-datta?” Escrya asked from beside him.
He blinked in surprise, she hadn’t said anything as they were settling him by the fire and he hadn’t even realized it was her.
He nodded silently.
Though Volka had told him that she had smoothed things over with the young Amazon, they hadn’t actually spoken since their last disastrous encounter.
On his other side, Tiana could plainly sense the tension between them and coughed delicately.
“I’m... going to give you two a moment. Come along Juni, you can tell us all about your little adventure!”
Escrya shot her a grateful look over Nameless’s head as Tiana hoisted the gourd over her shoulders, Juni already talking rapidly into her ear.
She and the others left them to sit by the other fires, but it was a long time before either of them said anything, when they did, they both spoke at once.
“We should-”
“I’m sorry for-”
There was that awkward pause between them, where each waited for the other to finish their thought.
“We should talk.” Escrya finally said quietly, one finger pulling a tight braid of tufted Valkyrie feathers behind her ear.
Volka had gifted them to her back in Kettering when she had been reminded of the Saenga tradition of braiding them into their hair by the young teller.
He drew in an unsteady breath, though he was distracted by Juni: just around the fire she was out of her gourd and regaling the other Amazons with her mental ordeal, with surprisingly little embellishments.
Escrya followed his gaze and smiled slightly.
“Your legend grows, Valkyrja-datta.”
“Yeah, she’s probably going to tell some people huh?” He shrugged.
“This bothers you?”
“Never been very keen on being the center of attention.”
She laughed, somewhat at his expense.
“Then you have chosen the wrong path in life!”
He snorted humorously.
“Wasn’t much ‘choice’ in the matter.”
“Perhaps, but we all must live the life that we are given, to dwell upon it would be folly. Besides, is your life really so terrible?”
“No! Of course not!” He whirled to face her, then turned pink as the intensity of her ice blue eyes forced him to look away again; “Sorry, but no, I may not like the attention, but before was so much worse.”
“Before?”
“Yeah, before I knew what I was, before Milly and Erica and everybody. I didn’t even realize how unhappy I was until I think back on it.”
She shifted in place beside him, her arm brushing against his shoulder and sending a tiny thrill through him.
“Why were you so unhappy?”
Arching his back and raising his arms over his head he had a good stretch before answering.
“Because I was alone. Always alone. I had Ophelia, in small doses here and there, and there were a few people in town that looked out for me and gave me work. But at the end of the day I would go home to an empty apartment.”
Pinpricks of tears started in the corners of his eyes, surprising him as he swallowed around a sudden lump in his throat.
He really had been miserable.
Shaking his head to free himself of the sudden funk, he adopted a smile.
“But those days are done now. I have a future, a career I never expected. Prospects. And most of all I have my bond-mates, though I don’t believe that I will ever be truly worthy of their love, or the admiration of your people.” He finished wryly.
“You are more worthy than anyone I have ever heard of.” She said simply.
“Yeah, that. Never going to get used to that.”
They watched Juni for a time as another uncomfortable silence settled between them again.
“I owe you an apology.” Escrya finally said quietly.
“You don’t.” He shook his head vehemently; “It’s the other way around. You, all of you, offered me your hearts ages ago and I never so much as thanked you for it. I am so sorry for that.”
She surprised him by wiping away sudden tears, having to clear her throat before she could respond.
“I don’t wish to- Volka had said that-”
Escrya stopped and started a few times, until finally she took a moment to collect her thoughts before speaking.
“Volka told me that you and the others were... considering me.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t mean to push.” She said weakly.
“It’s okay, and like I said it’s me who should be sorry for what happened before. I shouldn’t have read you like that.”
“Don’t say that.” Her hand reached out and settled on his; “I offered you my heartstone, if that is not an invitation for an Empath than I will fall on my spear.”
Not sure how to respond to that, he settled his hand on hers, his eyes encouraging her to continue.
“Truth be told, I am not... experienced in these matters.” She admitted with great reluctance.
“That’s okay, neither am I.”
She looked at him as if he had grown a shark for a head.
“I’m not!” He said defensively; “Every one of the girls... jeeze, it’s kind of embarrassing.”
“What?”
“I didn’t, this is going to sound bad, but I didn’t choose any of them. They all chose me, except Ophelia, that was an accident. And Nina actually, but that was... all caught up in the moment like I was, I really didn’t see any way of refusing her.”
“I doubt either of them regrets it.”
He shook his head as he agreed with her.
“No, and neither do I. I would have chosen all them, given the chance. I couldn’t imagine my life without them now.”
Her eyes widened as she clued in to what he was saying.
“I chose you just as they did. But in my case... for the first time you must also choose me, or choose to refuse me.”
“We’re saying choose a lot.” He chuckled with nerves.
She smiled but continued with her reasoning, unwilling to be distracted.
“It is something you haven’t really had to do before, and at the same time you must weigh how your other bond-mates feel about it.” She shook her head with a wistful look; “Whenever I imagined an Empath I thought only of their ability to bond with anyone. I never considered how they might struggle with such things.”
“It is a pretty unique problem to have.”
Again they shared in some tension easing laughter.
But the mood turned somber when she spoke again.
“You can refuse me.”
His mouth fell open at the direct statement, her hand took his and interlaced their fingers.
“You can. I was selfish to throw my stone at you like that. I was... I am, lonely so far from home. But that is no excuse to display such weakness, especially to you, of all people.”
His grip tightened as he squeezed her palm, feeling the juxtaposition of rough calluses and soft skin.
Strong yet sensative.
He definitely had a type.
“Escrya, if you can’t be vulnerable with me than I’ll turn in my man card. And my Empath card actually.”
Her brow furrowed and she tilted her head.
“Men are given... cards?”
“Just an expression. With everything that you have done for me, for us, it’s okay for you to reach out. You are our friend, you are my friend.”
Again there was a long pause, heavy with the emotion of the moment.
“Thank you.” She whispered, again wiping tears from her cheek.
He embraced her then, releasing her hand and wrapping his arms around her.
But as was always the case when the Amazons hugged him, their height difference proved an issue, his face ending up in her cleavage. And since he had been the one to initiate the hug, he had to own it.
The warmth of her chest enveloped him, and he felt a familiar stirring in his loins.
Fearing that he might give her the wrong impression, he pulled away before the hug lasted too long.
But as he did he felt her hands grip his face, strong yet soft, and turn his head upwards to see the hunger in her eyes.
“Wha-”
Before he could speak her lips were on his.
It was the farthest thing from a chaste kiss, her tongue slipped into his mouth and past his teeth to grapple with his.
Nameless had been kissed many times and knew how to read his partner, but Escrya had surprised him with the sudden advance so instead of focusing on the kiss, panic spreading in his breast as his fear of hurting her again blossomed in his mind.
Kiss her back.
Volka?! What are-
I must confess, I was still with you when you left Juni’s mind, once Escrya sought you out, well, I was curious. Now stop thinking at me and kiss her, she needs it.
The flurry of thoughts passed between them in an instant, meanwhile he had one arm up between them, resting against the front of her shoulder, the warmth of her cleavage teasing his forearm.
With Volka’s urging the arm that had been raised to push the Amazon away instead slipped under hers and wrapped around her back, pulling her closer as their kiss deepened.
But he was far too conscious of the fact that they weren’t alone, Juni and the other Amazons had fallen silent when Escrya had pounced on him, worried expressions on their faces.
So before long he pulled away from the young teller, the heat of her gaze on his enough to stir his passion, but not enough to forget their surroundings.
She bit her lip as she read his expression, suddenly anxious.
“I’m- I’m sorry, Valkyrja-datta. I should not have-”
“It’s alright.” He interrupted her quickly, though he was still distracted by the taste of her; “I kissed you back after all.”
They both fell silent for several awkward seconds.
“Soooo, that just happened.” He finally said in a bid to break the tension.
Her face was now in her hands as she groaned.
“It shouldn’t have, forgive me. Witch’s tits, what will your bond-mates think?”
He chuckled.
“Well, one of them thought that I should kiss you back. The others are... a mixed bag.”
Her head came out of her hands rapidly as she looked at him in shock.
“Wh-what?”
Laughter bubbled out of him again, he couldn’t help it.
“Empath remember? Volka was here, or is?”
Is. As are the others.
Escrya pursed her lips at the distant look in his eyes, waiting.
His eyes focused again and he smiled ruefully.
“Is.”
The Amazon blushed rosy red, once again looking shame-faced.
“Is she very angry with me?”
“No! None of them are!” He insisted; “Like I said, it’s a mixed bag.”
Everything in her posture screamed vulnerability as one arm came up and gripped her opposite shoulder, reassuringly hugging herself.
“What does that mean?”
Once again she had to wait while he reflected inwards on the lights that were his bond-mates’ souls, forever in his mind.
Knowing that honesty was the only way to move forwards, he drew in a steadying breath as he held out his free hand and began to tick them off on his fingers.
“Volka is fine with it, she loves everyone though, kind of an angel thing I guess? Ophelia feels pretty much the same, she and Nina are debating the pros and cons of having an Amazon around. Milly isn’t sure what she feels, kind of a long story there, and Erica...”
He trailed off; this time it was his turn to blush.
“What? Erica what?”
He coughed delicately as his blush deepened until the tips of his ears were burning.
“I’m not going to say that.” He muttered.
“Say what?” Escrya urged with a frown.
“Erica cut it out! We said no more of that! It wouldn’t be fair to her!”
“What is happening?!” The Amazon demanded.
Allow me, Escrya.
Volka’s amused thoughts brushed against hers and quickly shared exactly what Erica was inflicting on her husband.
It was... graphic.
And with Volka’s aid, the young warrior could now hear exactly what Erica was thinking.
-already passed up on one Amazon’s offer to blow you.
“Erica?!”
Oh, hey Escrya. What’s shaking?
She cast about, as if expecting the Katje to be hiding behind a tree.
With her blithe response, not to mention the surprise of her communicating as Volka often did, the Amazon was struggling to separate her own feelings from the horny cat’s.
Mmmm, yeah, this is neat, we really should do this more often.
It was Nameless’s turn to hold his head in his hands.
“Not helping, Erica.”
Still, the imagined scene of Escrya kneeling before him played out in their minds.
It was a struggle for the Amazon to control her breathing: with Erica and Volka’s help, she could not only taste him, but she could feel the intense pleasure that he would at such an encounter.
“This... isn’t the first time you have had such thoughts about me.” She said breathlessly.
It wasn’t a question, and she was right: back when they were returning from the wilds, Erica and Nina had started a game where they would expose Nameless directly to their fantasies, and he had turned the tables on them by showing them exactly what he would do with the Amazon.
For his part, he was suddenly keenly aware of the nearness of her, the smell of her, the heat of her.
He wasn’t the least bit cold anymore.
With the thought, and accompanying imagery, in their minds, she was having the same problem.
It was a while before they got their beating hearts under control, and when they did, Volka flipped the world on its head again.
You have our blessing.
The air flooded out of Escrya’s lungs as she forgot how to breathe, while Nameless’s jaw fell open.
“Wh-what?”
Just as I said, this thing between you, it cannot continue like this.
You can’t be serious!
Focusing inwards he intended on communicating with just his girls, though unbeknownst to him, his Valkyrie was still sharing everything with the Amazon.
There needs to be some kind of resolution. One way or the other.
His mind flicked to the others, and found them in agreement, even Milly.
Her voice sounded in his head for the first time.
Volka’s right. We already know that we will have to share you so there can be more Empaths, this is sort of the same.
It sounded reasonable, but Nameless knew there was more that needed to be said, to be felt.
Milly, that’s not right, you know that there would be emotion here that wouldn’t be otherwise.
Yeah, but we love her too. Her and the other Amazons. And she needs this.
There was still hesitance in her mind, and Nameless was more reluctant than ever in the face of her uncertainty, but she wasn’t finished.
Maybe, just this once, we can try it and see how it feels?
It was... a reasonable proposition.
But still he resisted.
We don’t even know if it is something she wants!
It is.
Another first: this time Escrya had joined the conversation.
Coming more aware of the real world again Nameless realized that they had both stood at some point as he turned to face her.
The Amazon loomed over him, tall and proud, blushing and beautiful, though there was some uncertainty in her as well.
She was quick to explain the source of it.
I’ve never... been with anyone, not even a woman, and if we are not to be... than I would at least want this.
There was a long pause between them as Nameless struggled to stand against the multiple waves of arousal coming at him from every angle in response to Escrya’s admission.
Holy-fuck-this-just-got-ten-times-hotter!
Erica gushed all at once and Nameless felt more than heard a tolerant sigh from Ophelia as her voice sounded in admonishment of her bond-sister.
Dearheart, I know it is a lot to ask, but try to control yourself.
He swallowed, his heart pounding in his chest once more at the erotic potential building in the air between him and the virgin Amazon.
The last of his hesitation melted away while he took in the longing expression on her face.
“I-If you’re sure?”
He wasn’t just asking her.
We are.
“I am.”
They responded all together, with Escrya voice mingling with the others thoughts.
The charged atmosphere remained, but it was nearly shattered by Kaylee, who very bluntly reminded them that they weren’t alone in the real world either.
“What the hells has gotten into you two?!” She demanded.
Their posture had been more than a little odd: both standing and facing each other, and compounding that was the fact that they had been communicating with little in the way of spoken words.
It was nearly impossible, but Escrya managed to pull her eyes away from Nameless’s.
“A private conversation, Kaylee. I’ll thank you to butt out.” She said tartly.
“Private conver- you were necking a moment ago and now you aren’t saying anything at all!”
But before the other young Amazon could make too much of a scene, Myrina, their leader outside of their village, came around the fire and pulled her away.
“Enough Kaylee. If Escrya does not wish to share what is transpiring between herself and our Valkyrja-datta, than we will not press her.”
Despite her words though, she leveled a knowing smirk Nameless’s way.
Volka’s thoughts found his again before he could read into it too much though.
It is far too cold in the woods, bring her back to the dormitory. No one will bother you here, I promise.
WHAT?! I want to bother them!
Not tonight Erica, let Escrya have what she has yearned for. We owe her at least that much. Afterwards... we shall see how everyone feels.
Though Erica’s disappointment weighed on his mind, Nameless didn’t let it distract him from Escrya.
With her cheeks rosy red, she nodded ever so slightly.
I will follow you anywhere, beloved.
It was the last thought he heard from her as Volka’s consciousness faded from their minds.
Ignoring the gasps of shock and glee from the other Amazons, Nameless took her hand and led her out of the camp.