Repairs
I slept in late the next day. Between battling General Winter, his cronies, and reaffirming my new commitment to Glacia that night, I was exhausted.
When I finally got up, I heard her moan softly, rolling into the warm spot I left in the bed. I looked back at her and couldn’t help but smile a bit at her sleeping face, snowy hair fanning across the pillow, her expression peaceful and soft. Unspoken rule in the villain business was don’t start a relationship with your sidekicks or henchmen. Way too much drama. But fuck it, I was a villain. And what was the point if you didn’t break some rules?
I left her to sleep in. I had a lot of work to do, after all. First I took a quick shower, grateful the plumbing in this wing of the chalet hadn’t burst in the cold, then I checked the rest of the building. As I suspected, the General had cleared out the night before along with all his henchmen, leaving the place to me and Glacia. We’d shacked up in one of the rooms which were still in pretty good repair. Good thing too, because the main building was practically in ruins from our little foray. As I wandered by a window, I spotted a bulky white van cruising up the road towards the gate.
Hm. Good timing.
If there was one industry that supers fed, aside from media and lobbyists, it was construction. Every time some hero smashed open the pavement and ripped up main street, someone had to fix it. In fact, it was a bit of a miracle infrastructure survived before the development of Heroic Companies.
There were a lot of Heroic Companies around, but they mainly worked around the major cities. Their jobs were to go in once the dust died down and fix up all the damages that heroes and villains caused. Many of those who developed powers on their own and didn’t immediately start putting on tights or committing grand larceny went into business fixing things up. I knew one guy whose cement powers literally rebuilt half the city after that alien invasion a few years back, and another whose speedster skills let him do electrical work in record time. Others, like Steve, used their multiplying powers to beef up a job’s manpower. In fact, Steve sometimes moonlit with them when work was slow, but he was a villain’s man too much to give up the game completely.
Naturally, all this made insurance in the city expensive, but though people grumbled, what could you do? Other than move to the middle of nowhere, and there were always those who just couldn’t give up the city life. In fact, many cities took it as a point of pride that their infrastructure was often busted up by battling heroes. It certainly fed the tourism market. And besides, Heroic Companies never took long to fix things back to normal, and big property damaging super battles weren’t really all that common, despite what you saw on the news.
But if you were uninsured for that kind of stuff, like me, those companies were out of the question. Though I trusted their discretion, I didn’t have their kind of cash.
So I’d made a call.
I made my way down to the foyer, passing through the gaping hole where the front doors had been blasted in. Walking outside, I halted on the steps and watched as the van reached the gate, only to smash through them with a crash of metal. I winced. Well, good thing I was getting that replaced anyway. I waited as the van swerved up to a halt, and I noticed no driver in the front. Ah, self-driving. How unsurprising. The back doors of the van banged open and Dolly sprang out.
“Ta da!” she cried, throwing her arms wide, the sleeves of her lab coat fluttering. “It’s me! Glorious me! And holy shit!” she added as she looked at the hole in the front of the chalet. “Victor! You did a hell of a number on this one!”
“You should see the other guy,” I said. “But that is why I called you here-“
“Say no more!” she cried, throwing out her arms and bowing her woolly head. “Say no more! Rest assured, Dolly Industries and Construction is on the job! We will see this building all sorted out and fixed up in no time!”
She banged on the side of the van, and from the back rolled out a pair of metallic orbs. I stepped back as arms suddenly sprouted from the pair, becoming snaking metal tentacles ending in mechanical claws. They bodies pivoted until their undersides looked down at Dolly, revealing shining red eyes.
The sheepish scientist pointed at the ruined manor. “Fix it, boys!”
The two machines snapped their arms to their heads in impromptu salutes, then half rolled, half trundled towards the building. I stepped out of their way, watching them go inside. Had they belonged to anyone other than Dolly, I’d be quite nervous right then. But she knew her business, and I knew I could rely on her tech.
“So, these are your new digs?” she said, pulling my attention back to her.
“Seems so,” I said.
“Nice. Nice. A real proper villain lair you got now,” she said.
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far.”
“Of course not! Not yet. It doesn’t even have a lab, huh? Not even a big basement laboratory where a sexy, horny scientist can do her work for her villainous boss, huh? Oh yeah. A real villain lair would need one of those. Absolutely.”
Wow, subtle. But also somewhat surprising. “You want to live in my basement?” I said.
“Ah ah! I want to work in your basement!” Dolly said. She gestured grandly, lab coat fluttering around her like white wings. “I mean, it just makes sense, right? You need this place fixed up, I need to live somewhere which probably isn’t swimming in asbestos and old chemical spills. Win win huh?”
“I-“
“And of course, since I’ll be fixing up my own lab,” Dolly added smugly, her woolly collar fairly quivering with her self-satisfaction, “it only seems fair to fix up the rest of the building. Free of labour charges, anyway.”
Well, that left materials, which would still be pretty damn expensive, but left me in at least a slightly better position. And I couldn’t abandon the place now, after that whole thing with the General. And who knows? Once it was fixed up, it could make a nice place. I’d certainly need more space if I was supposed to live with both Glacia and Dolly.
“Alright,” I said. “That sounds good.”
“You know it, Victor! Now, how about some head pats for your favourite mad scientist?”
That seemed reasonable. I rubbed Dolly’s woolly head, her eyes going lidded and a small moan escaping her. “Oooooh, that’s the good stuff,” she groaned, wiggling in delight, and I thought I might have spotted her tail wiggling with pleasure under her lab coat.
I shook my head in wonder. Honestly. Dolly was a strange one. But I’d rather her on my side than against me, that was for damn sure.
And speaking of… I noticed another car was making its way up the drive. This one, however, wasn’t a white working van. Quite the contrary. It was the sort of car whose owner who did manual work as ‘the help.’ It was a sleek Rolls Royce that probably came with a champagne dispenser in the dash, its hubs flashing probably real silver and gold in the sunlight as it ground its way to a halt.
I couldn’t say I was surprised when Carter stepped out of the car. She wore a form-fitting suit that hugged every aching curve, the sleeves puffed and the collar dipping low, revealing a white silk shirt with a cravat, of all things. Her eyes were hidden as ever behind those mirrored lenses, and her smile was striking with beauty. A broad hat that probably cost more than my old apartment building shaded her head from the sun, a little dark veil before her eyes, like she’d just come from a funeral, or was preparing to attend another one. The two bald guys who stepped out of the front of the car looked like they were ready to make one happen if asked. I felt the subtle metallic tug of some weapons inside their jackets. Probably laser rifles or something.
Fun.
“Carter, what a surprise,” I said with a complete lack of it.
“Victor. So good to see you,” she said. She tilted her head, scanning the building, I assumed. It was hard to know what the hell she was looking at behind those glasses. “I heard that you’d just acquired a new place. How impressive!”
“And how did you hear about that so quickly?” I asked.
“Victor, really,” she said with a flip of her hand and a laugh. “It’s my job to know these things.”
“Uh huh,” I said. “So how long were you plotting this?”
“What?” Carter said, a hand over her heart, bemused puzzlement on her face. “Why Victor! You make me sound like some nefarious schemer. How could I have possibly known how this would all turn out?”
I wasn’t buying it. People who try and conquer the world have less rubegoldbergian plans than Carter. I’d worked with schemers before, but no one matched her skills. I crossed my arms, giving her the full weight of my glare.
“Then it was all a coincidence that this happened?” I said.
“My dear Victor,” Carter said, head tilting from me, a hand on her hip and a smile of her lips. “I have no idea what you’re on about. In fact, it was Glacia who originally approached me. I naturally took an interest in the daughter of one of the Guild’s highest members being employed by Razer. How could I not? But her condition was that she would only work for Razer if she got to work with you.”
“So that’s why you hired me?” I said, impressed despite myself at Glacia’s daring. Not many would make a demand of Carter. At least, not many that were still around. I glanced at the two muscleheads who’d come with her, their expressions as unflappable as stone. Probably had powers, I noted.
“Well, that is one reason,” Carter said, drawing my attention back to her. “And naturally, when General Winter made his displeasure known, I could hardly keep her employed.”
“But you could have lied to me,” I said. “Told me she’d gotten hired off or transferred. Instead, you dropped her like a hot potato and were purposefully obtuse. You knew I wouldn’t let it slide that easily. Especially if you really didn’t want me to go after her.”
“You give me too much credit,” Carter said.
“I really don’t think I am,” I said.
“That’s, of course, up to you,” Carter said with a teasing flick of her immaculate brows. “By the way,” she said, nodding at the building behind me. “That is quite the impressive structure.”
Oh, I didn’t like where this was going. “Yeah?” I said warily.
“Very. I imagine it will be a bit expensive for upkeep. As well as repairs.”
“I’ve got someone on that.”
“Of course you do,” Carter said, striding closer, smooth as a snake. She tapped my chest, every impact shooting through me with pure animal lust. “But it remains true you’ll be needing a bit more cashflow quite soon, hm? Why not come work for Razer?” she asked, resting her palm on my chest, feeling the muscle underneath. “I’m sure we could come to a mutually beneficial… mmm… arrangement.”
“So that’s why you’re here,” I said, shaking my head. “No thanks. I’m not joining you.”
“Such a shame,” Carter sighed, tilting her head into a waiting palm. “But expected. Well, nonetheless, I do have some work for you, and your girls.”
“My girls?” I said.
“Of course!” Carter said, beaming at me. “Like I told you, Victor, you can’t work solo forever. And having a number of impressive sidekicks in your stable of villains will be doubly useful. You’ll be able to do ever so many more jobs, not to mention increase your standing. We’ll be able to merchandise it wonderfully. Toys. Action figure. Perfumes! Netflix original series! The sky’s the limit!”
“H-hey, hold on,” I said. “I never agreed to that!”
“Did you not?” Carter said with a teasing look towards Dolly, who grinned back. Birds of a feather, I mused. “How about you? What do you think about Victor starting his own evil organization?”
“I love it!” Dolly squeaked, clapping her hands in delight. “A whole harem of hot super girls waiting on your every need!”
“What!” I gasped.
“I believe it would be most beneficial as well.”
I looked back to find Glacia walking out of the front of the chalet. In a fluffy white sleeping robe, she looked like a young Jadis coming out of Narnia, if Narnia was less Christian allegory and more ruined, converted hotels.
“You too?” I said in disbelief.
“Of course, sir,” she said, smiling at me. “Any woman would be lucky to join an organization which you head. We would be able to greatly increase our income, not to mention fill out your new lair with residents. And of course, many villains keep a number of lovers, sir.” She shrugged. “It’s hardly unusual.”
I was going to have to keep reminding myself that Glacia grew up as the daughter of one of the world’s biggest villains, and that her idea of ‘normal’ was at best wildly different from mine. But being encouraged to have more than one girlfriend by the stunner of an ice queen still threw me off.
“And you… Wait, you both would be fine with this?” I protested, looking between Dolly and Glacia.
“Of course!” Dolly giggled. “The more girls, the better! If we get lots of powersets, imagine the science we could do!”
“And naturally,” Carter said, a finger to her chin, amusement dancing in her smile, “it would be much more secure. The more girls you have, Victor, the less likely they are to get attacked out of the blue. If someone knew they’d not only have to deal with Magneron, but with his harem of super girls, I doubt many would take the risk.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. Risk gathered risk. The more powerful I became, the more likely I was to deal with the bigger players. Heroes and villains. Still, she did have a point, and I’d already committed to protecting and instructing Glacia further in the fine art of supervillainy.
“Well, sounds like democracy has spoken,” I said, resigned, but not exactly depressed by the prospect, much to my surprise. My good mood might have had something to do with the sheer stunning beauty of the three women who’d backed me into this corner.
“Wonderful,” Carter said, and there was something in her smile that made me think that this was the real objective in her labyrinthine plot. “Then, perhaps you’d be interested in another job?”
“Job?” I said.
“Of course,” she said, reaching back. Instantly one of the security goons put a tablet with an embossed R on the back in her hand. She swung it about and turned it on, revealing a stage flickering with lights, along with a number of dancing women. Young and pretty, of course, resembling those idol groups the kids are always on about. “A collective of villains will be a much better foe for our debut girls. We’ve got Mysteria on board along with several others who would be just delighted to meet you and your new compatriots.”
I took the tablet from her, eying it. “Well,” I said. “I guess the museum job didn’t quite work out. And pay-“
“Four million.”
“Only double?” I noted.
“At first,” Carter said, offering her hand. “But shall we see where this goes?”
I looked at her hand like it was a venomous snake, but I’d come this far. I sighed. “Alright,” I said, taking her hand, giving it a shake. “Let’s find out.”
End