Pointed Questions
“I’m not a bad man,” I said conversationally.
The shapeshifter watched me warily. Good. Let her sweat a bit. We were alone. I didn’t want the girls to see what I was going to do. Or worse, have them try and join in.
I moved around the cold, bare room thoughtfully. The metal table the shapeshifter been laid out on sat near the middle. The walls were of cement and a drain was in the middle of the floor. Who knew what had gone down in this room, deep within the chalet? I tried not to think about it too much. General Winter had undoubtedly used the place, and probably not for storing Christmas ornaments. That tang of antiseptic always implied some very bad things.
Which made it quite fitting, I supposed.
“I’m not a bad man,” I said again as I laid out some ‘toys’ I’d borrowed from Dolly. “Really, I’m not. I’d much prefer not to do this. However,” I said, lifting up the shock stick again, giving it a buzz, the blue electricity glowing against my face. “Somewhat ironically, when you kidnapped Psyren, you took away my… non-invasive interrogator. I’d honestly just love to pluck the info out of your brain with the help of a psychic. But I seem to no longer have that. Therefore, we’re gonna need to go with plan B.”
“What are you going to do?” she said, and despite attempts to keep their voice calm, I could hear the slight tremor in there.
“I’m not sure,” I said, turning back to her. “I suppose it really depends on how far you’re going to make me go to get what I want. I don’t really have a lot of experience with the whole ‘torture’ thing. I’m a villain, but not a psycho.
“Then again,” I said, moving towards her, placing my hand on the table. “I’ve rarely been fucked with to such a degree. So I think we’re about to have a real learning experience, don’t you? Unless you’d like to get something off your chest, like where the fuck Psyren is?”
“I talk, I die,” she said.
“Wrong,” I said. “You talk, then maybe I have enough time to take John down, and you can walk out of here a free whoever you want to be.
“But if you don’t talk,” I added, slowly tightening my hand, the metal around her responding to my powers, creaking as it began to contract, squeezing the shapeshifter in its metal embrace. Had she been a slimer, that wouldn’t have done anything. But clearly, she was a limited if skilled mimic, and only able to disguise herself as someone of her own general build and size. Able to do it extremely well, I might add, but those limitations were not going to be very helpful right here.
Her face grew taut as the metal squeezed on every side. I could feel her trying to push back but without success.
“Talk,” I said. “Because if I can’t make you do it, I have people who can. The Guild of Villainous Foes will have someone, and if it means getting Psyren back, I’m willing to join the biggest group of lunatics on the planet. But I want to give you a chance. So talk!”
“I… I…”
“And if you don’t, I’ll give you over to Dolly first, who I’m sure has some things she’d love to test on you. Or hell,” I mused. “Maybe I’ll have Madame Mammon stop by. I’m sure a literal demon will know all kinds of fun ways to squeeze the info out of you. And she really liked Psyren. So give it up you bastard. Talk! Where is she!”
“I-in the Hall of Heroes!” the shapeshifter gasped.
Dammit! I had a feeling that was where he was hiding her. “Where?” I growled.
“U-underneath. There’s a… a lab down there. It’s…. it’s where John stored the Mind Spike.”
“You mean he has it set up?”
“Hrrrk!” she wheezed.
Oh, right.
I eased off on the contraction of the metal a bit. The shapeshifter gasped, sucking in a frantic breath. “Y-yes. He had us… had it moved down there a week ago. Then had the Brain Trust kill each other to hide the evidence of it.”
“And they’re going to stick Psyren in that thing,” I said, mostly to myself. Dammit! I should have guessed John wouldn’t have spilled the beans about his plan if he didn’t already have all the pieces in place. No wonder he let me walk out of the Hall of Heroes with such little fuss. He already had everything he needed.
Don’t get me wrong, it was a good plan. A real villainous dickbag of a move, and I’d be applauding it if he’d grabbed literally any other psychic than Psyren. But that bastard chose the wrong woman to hook up to his fucking machine.
“And what were you supposed to do?” I demanded.
The shapeshifter’s skin turned redder with humiliation and fear. “I… I…”
“No wait, let me guess,” I said. “You were supposed to accompany us to wherever it was we were going to go while we tried to hide from John. And all the while you’d be feeding him info. Then, once he was ready, he’d send either some assassins or, more likely, actual heroes to kill us. Wiping us out and clearing the last witnesses to his evil plan. Or even better! You’d either kill me, or covertly cause some incident that would discredit me and put an even bigger target on my back. How am I doing so far?”
My prisoner flushed deeper. “Um… pretty good,” she admitted.
I growled, rubbing my face with my free hand. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck! Just perfect. Just goddam perfect! Well, my choices were narrowing, that was for damn sure. Looked like I only had one option now.
I had to assault the Hall of Heroes.
Great.
Just wonderful.
I didn’t like it.
Like, at all.
I’d never willingly fought heroes I wasn’t being paid to. And not only because it was bad for business. Fight one hero unless it was self-defence, and all of a sudden you’re fair game for every society, friends, and league of costumed jackasses looking to start shit. I’d have much rather just run away, and start over elsewhere. Cowardly? Eh, maybe. But I wanted a peaceful life, not playing cat and mouse or cat and missile. I got enough shit from the streeters, I didn’t need the pros messing with me.
But John had Psyren, and no way in hell was I letting him get away with that.
“Don’t go anywhere,” I told the shapeshifter as I left the room, sealing the door shut behind me.
Outside was Dolly, Glacia and Mammon. Glacia had been leaning against the wall, but jolted to attention as I walked towards the stairs. “Sir!” she said, hurrying behind me. “What-“
“John has Psyren in the basement of the Hall of Heroes, and is hooking her up to the Mind Spike in order to take control of Metro City’s hero population.” I said.
“Oh,” Glacia said. Then, “Ohhhhh,” with a sinking dread as the full import hit her.
And ‘oh’ was fucking right. Metro City wasn’t just home to overpriced seafood, self-important media, and poor local governance. It also played host to hundreds of heroes and villains. And if John managed to get the Mind Spike working, I’d soon have to fight through literally the entire city’s hero communities to rescue Psyren.
“Holy shit, Victor,” Dolly said, puffing as she jogged after us. “So uh… what’s the plan?”
“Break her out of there,” I said, fishing my phone out of my pocket.
“Wha… really?” Dolly said.
“Excellent choice, sir,” Glacia said, gliding after me as elegantly as a figure skater. “It is high time the world learns to fear the name of Magneron!”
“Or I end up as just another notch on a hero’s ‘villain of the week’ belt,” I said as I flicked through my contacts, finally landing on Steve’s. I was no looking forward to this call, but it had to be made for a few reasons. It rang twice, then clicked.
“Ehhhhh. Victor! My man. How’s it goin’?”
“Not good. Listen, did you ever work in the Hall of Heroes?” I said.
“Suuuure, man. Sure. I had a me be a janitor in there for a while. Why?”
“John Blend kidnapped Psyren. He’s behind the Mind Spike and switched her out with a shapeshifter while I was fighting Valkyria.”
Silence hung heavy on the other end of the line. Then, finally, “I see.”
There was a lot of meaning in those two words. A lot of promises in the low, dark tone, utterly lacking Steve’s usual lazy drawl. It was the voice of a man who kept a collection of baseball bats, but never played the game.
“I’m going to get her back,” I told him. “I swear it.”
There was a long pause. Then, “I know.”
“You do?” I said.
“Of course, my man,” Steve said, his voice drawling once more, but retaining a sharper edge. “I know you will. You’ll get her back. Why’d you think I wanted her with you? Kidnappings happen in this biz, my man. It happens.”
“It shouldn’t,” I said. Dammit, why did Steve have to be so… understanding? Now I felt even worse. It would have been better if he chewed me out, maybe kicked me a few times.
“I know, my man. But I know you too. You’ll get her back. And absolutely wreck anyone in your way. Right?”
“That’s the plan,” I said.
“Cool, man. Cool. If you need anything from me, man, just let me know. Alright?”
“I will. I think I can handle it, but there is one thing I need you to do. I need you to find where Valkyria is being treated and get to her. If I can take down John, I need you to fill her in on what happened. If I fail, try and get her out of there.”
“You’ll do it, my man. I know you will. It’s all in the bag. And don’t you worry. I’ll find her, man.”
“Thanks, Steve,” I said.
“No problem, man. You do what you gotta do, and I’ll do what I do best. Call me when my sis is back. Alright?”
“Sure, Steve. Sure.”
“My man,” he drawled, and hung up.
I took the phone away. Well, that was one thing done. Now, all I needed to do was actually save Psyren. Simple, so long as you ignored reality.
We’d by now reached and the kitchen and I threw open the doors. I moved inside, hunting, drawers rattling as I yanked them open. Where was it? I knew I’d seen it in here…
“What are you looking for, sir?” Glacia said from behind me.
“I need some… aha!” I said, triumphantly pulling out a roll of tinfoil. “Who knows if this will work or not, but we gotta try,” I said, unrolling a spool of it, then wrapping it up in a hat. “Here, put this on.”
Glacia took it hesitantly. “Sir?”
“It’s a thing Psyren told me,” I said quickly as I tucked the roll under my arm. “Apparently her power can’t penetrate tinfoil.”
“If you say so, sir,” Glacia said, putting on the hat sceptically.
Good. That was one problem averted. The big one was the mob of some of the biggest heroes in the world were still standing between us and Psyren, and I wasn’t exactly looking forward to seeing who’d come out on top.
“Dolly?” I said, looking her way.
“Yeah?” she said, perking up.
“I need you to get me a schematic of the Hall of Heroes. I need to know what kind of room they’re keeping Psyren in. Where it is. How deep underground. Anything you can pull up.”
“Victor! Are you saying that you think I’d do something as crazy as hack into the Hall of Heroes, pull out schematics and camera footage from one of the most secure places on earth, and all without getting caught?”
“Can you?”
“Well, since you asked so nicely,” Dolly said with a wicked grin. “I’ll scrape every fucking file off their goddam hardrives!”
“Good. Do it. And one more thing.”
“Yeah?”
“Do not be subtle about it. Make sure John will be able to figure out I’m coming there tonight.”
Everyone stared at me blankly.
“Uh… you sure?” Dolly said hesitantly. “I mean,” she said, quickly raising her hands. “Not to, you know, bust your nuts here, Victor. But you really think it’s a good idea for the heroes to know you’re coming?”
“Positive,” I said firmly. “I want John to know I’m stopping by. I want him to put every hero he’s got between me and Psyren.”
“Sir?” Glacia said. “Are you suggesting we defeat the entire Heroes of Earth at once?”
“Absolutely,” I said, and explained my plan.
Dolly stared at me, slack jawed. Glacia shivered, flushing hotly. “Oh sir,” she gasped. “That is simply diabolical!”
“Quite so, darling. Quite so,” Mammon said, looking suitably impressed.
“Well,” I said, shrugging, “I am the bad guy.”
“I’ll say!” Dolly said. “And I’m just gonna say this now, Victor,” Dolly added, stepping closer to me, rising on her tiptoes with a wicked grin, “I love it when you get evil.”
She gave me a quick kiss. Then, giggling, turned and bounced out of the kitchens and back towards her lab.
Good, that was that out the way. Now, all that remained was to pull it off.