Chapter 7
(Domestic Light Pilsner)
“Why’re you out at the peak of day, little fella?” the man laughed and then tut-tutted at me. “Seems you’ve got yourself a protector, huh?”
“Finally, someone understands,” Babble answered. “This is my good friend and protector, Tyler. He’s going to be the best beer brewer in all of Hagop, and we just got his barley!”
“A human brewer?” the man asked, and his eyes widened with surprise. “Well, much power to you, giant. I tried once or twice to brew some, and it tasted… well, it tasted like any old human beer. If you can learn the craft from the dwarves, you’re in good stead!”
“Oh, I don’t need to learn from them,” I told him. “I already know how to brew myself.”
The man’s jaw fell open, and his tiny jaw harp fell out of his mouth. He crouched down to pick it up before dusting the yellow dirt off his pants and gesturing to his cart.
“You two look like you could use a ride,” he said. “With all that grain. I’m excited to see where it goes, Tyler, if what you say is true. I’ve never known a human familiar with the beer craft before. And if all the help I can give is a ride back into town, I’d be glad.”
“You read my mind, Will,” Babble laughed, and then he bent his knees a few times and looked like he was fixing to jump up on the wooden cart like a cat.
I wasn’t sure the little guy could make it on his own, so I dropped the bag of grain into the cart, then grabbed the gnome around the waist and plonked him into the back of the cart as well. Babble huffed at the indignity, but I just grinned and hopped in next to him.
“Well, what are we waiting for?” Babble asked as he turned to look at Will.
“These are sensitive animals, you know,” Will said as he rubbed the donkey behind the ears and then gave him a carrot. “People treat them like factory workers. But they’re full of love, just like you and me. They love their families and they work hard. They’re respectable little creatures.”
“I’m sure they are,” I replied with a smile. “And we appreciate everything the little fella is doing for us today.”
“That’s all he needed to hear,” Will said.
He gave the donkey one last pat and then climbed into the driver’s seat. A moment later, the donkey started to march forward at a good clip, and I could feel the relief of not carrying the grain spread through all of my back muscles.
As we rode back into town, I took in all the gorgeous scenery in front of me. I couldn’t believe that I’d landed in such a strange place. I knew that it couldn’t be heaven because it had all the same problems of the human world, like discord between the communities and gambling, but it still felt like paradise compared to the world I’d come from.
“Where to?” Will asked.
“The Lamb and Star,” Babble replied. “Wait until Hildegard sees what we bought today!”
Will rolled up to Hildegard’s inn, and we stepped off the cart and took the grain. After Babble and I waved goodbye, I carried the grains and yeast around the side of the inn and dropped them on the empty barn floor, which was actually the ideal place to store my dried goods since it was dry and cool.
“This is really happening,” I laughed as I looked around the barn. “And I can’t fucking wait to start brewing.”
There were three steps to brewing beer, and that hadn’t changed in centuries. First was the malting, second was mashing it all up, and third was the fermenting. This was the crucial step that turned the fat of the land into the golden goodness that we called beer, ale, lager, and cider depending on how you did it. I’d read up on it for years and made my own batches at home to share with my friends, but now I was actually going to turn it into a business.
Of course, I knew that they didn’t have the modern brewing technology in Hagop that I was used to in Portland. But luckily, I’d taken a course in college on early modern culinary techniques when I needed an easy A, so I knew what I could use instead. And it looked like the local blacksmiths had the skills to get the job done, so I wouldn’t have to ask any of those loathsome dwarves or elves for tips on how to find what I needed.
“What’s next?” Babble asked as he sauntered into the barn. “I know there are barrels involved, and a still of some sort...”
“Do you have anything else you need to do today?” I asked. “Because I still want to earn my keep. If we need to go and ruffle any more feathers, then I’d be happy to do that first. You’re my employer, after all.”
“Oh!” Babble laughed, and he pulled out the tiny notebook from his back pocket. “Hmm… you know I like to keep these things on a very tight schedule. But I’m so excited about this beer of yours that I’d almost rather watch that than make any more visits today! You should’ve seen the look on those dwarves’ faces…”
“I did,” I smiled. “Pyotr House didn’t seem too annoyed with me being here. But that guy Cassian…”
“Cassian has come in third at the fair for the past two years,” Babble nodded. “He has a lot to prove. And usually dwarves don’t think that humans are competitors… but at this point, he seems desperate, so he won’t welcome any more competition, even from a human.”
“That explains the attitude,” I said. “But if we have time to hang around, I’d like to get started.”
“We have all the time in the world,” Babble assured me as he tucked his notebook back in his pocket. “Let the brewing commence.”
I had never been a bodyguard before, but so far, my charge was pretty flexible, which would hopefully leave me plenty of time for brewing. And it was pretty sweet to have someone who knew their way around town like Babble did.
“I feel like I’m going to need Hildegard’s help with this first part,” I mumbled.
“Best fetch her then,” Babble replied as he walked around the barn and studied the space like he was measuring it for new drapes.
I nodded to the gnome and then made my way from the old stable to the inn. I could smell something cooking as I crossed the yard, so I guessed the cook had shown up at least, though I wouldn’t have minded turning my attention to another stew if the innkeeper needed it.
“Hildegard,” I called out as I stepped inside. “Are you in here?”
“Where else would I be?” I heard her sing, and she stepped out of the backroom into the bar.
The dark-haired beauty leaned over the bar as she studied my face, and then she grinned.
“Now that is a sharp outfit,” she said and looked me up and down. “How were the dwarves?”
“Thank you, and terrible as always,” I murmured and then leaned over the bar and stared into her eyes. I knew that she had business to attend to, but I could flirt with a pretty girl my first full day in town, couldn’t I?
“I bet,” she answered, and her cheeks blushed a deep pink. “So, what’re you here for? You want a drink?”
“I’ve had enough drinks today,” I answered. “I was wondering if you had any brewing equipment handy. If not, I can probably ask Babble for some tips…”
“Oh, we’ve got some,” she replied. “There was a time when this inn produced its own brew. Haven’t done it in awhile though, because it’s easier to just buy from the dwarves since that’s what most people want.”
“Well, that’s about to change,” I replied.
“I certainly hope so,” she laughed. “Alright, you’ll find a kettle and a siphon on one of the shelves in the back kitchen. And if you need a big spoon for mashing, there’s more than enough in there. Just help yourself.”
“Perfect,” I said. “Hildegard, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Oh,” she giggled, and the innkeeper swept her hair out of her face. “Well, seeing as you don’t know anyone else in this town other than the gnome, I don’t think you’d do very well…”
“You’re right about that,” I said and winked.
I shot her a smile and made my way out of the bar and into the back kitchen. The place was clean but a lot smaller than the kitchen I’d used when I’d prepared the stew. It was crammed full of kitchen tools, so it took me a few minutes to find the kettle and siphon on one of the top shelves. I found a large wooden spoon in a pile on one of the counters and then added a small knife as well because it seemed like a good tool to have just in case.
Hildegard was busy with a customer when I walked through the bar again, so I gave her a quick nod and then slipped out the back door. I lugged my finds back to the stable and set them on the ground near the sack of grain.
“What can I do?” Babble asked as he peered into the kettle. “Do we boil it in here?”
“Eventually, we’ll combine all the ingredients in the kettle,” I said. “But for now, we just need the grains to sprout.”
“And how do we do that?” the gnome asked.
I scrubbed down the pot while the gnome watched, then I filled the bottom with clean water from the well. When that was done, I added the barley and then added a bit more water just to make sure that every grain was soaking.
“What now?” Babble asked.
“When they get warm enough, they’ll sprout,” I told him. “If you sprout it, they release an enzyme which transforms the starch into sugar in the grain, and then we’re going to roast them…”
“I don’t know what an… enz-enz… whatever is,” Babble coughed. “But I trust you, giant. You seem to know a lot from your foreign land.”
I thought back to Portland, with all the bored housewives and my embarrassingly exhaustive knowledge of internet memes. I never considered myself to be a font of knowledge, but then again, I had a degree, so maybe I knew more than I gave myself credit for.
“Well, I try,” I said. “For now, we just let it steep. I’ll need an oven at some point, but I need to make a wort first.”
“A wart?” Babble asked. “That sounds like the outbreak!”
“No, no, okay…” I muttered to myself.
It looked like these guys didn’t use the same language that we did back in America regarding such things. Or at least, the way that America described medieval Europe.
“Then what?” Babble asked.
“The mush,” I said. “I need to make a mush with the sprouted grains and the hops. And then we’ll be in business, and the real work can begin.”
“So we need hops…” Babble muttered to himself. “I knew that it would come to this.”
“Yeah, duh,” I added. “I told you earlier. Where do we get them?”
I was starting to smell the grains in the water, and I smiled happily while I waited for Babble to produce a name. It was only the very first step in beer making, but I was happy as hell that I was actually getting to do this.
“Well, you remember when you tasted human beer?” the gnome giggled.
“Yes,” I shuddered. “It was totally gross.”
“Well, it’s because humans just don’t get good hops,” Babble shrugged. “Or so I’ve been told. The hops community in this town is small, and most of it goes to the gnomes. What doesn’t go to the gnomes gets snapped up by the dwarves. That just leaves the scrapings for the humans.”
“But I bet you know a guy,” I said as I leaned against one of the stalls. “In fact, I’ll bet you probably know the farmer with the best hops in Hagop.”
“Of course I do,” Babble replied. “But I don’t want you putting any ideas into my head. Those gnomes are cutthroat about the hops! They practically reserve them.”
“I don’t care,” I shrugged. “I want the best hops, and I won’t be scared away by gnomes or dwarves. By the sounds of it, you know how to get some.”
“But you know how unlikely it is for a human like yourself to be beer brewing,” Babble said with a nervous laugh. “I don’t know if they’ll even sell--”
“I’m not a human,” I said. “I’m a giant and a king. Tyler King, as you know.”
“But you said you weren’t a real king,” Babble said, and he crossed his arms. “But now that I think about it, maybe they’d be more likely to listen if you were…”
“Then why don’t you pull a favor?” I asked. “Just like with this suit. I mean, that elf in the store obviously didn’t want to make me a suit, but whatever debt he had with you was clearly pretty big.”
“I don’t have any favors with farmers,” Babble sighed. “They don’t gamble, because they have real jobs… I mean, they don’t have the time to come into town. And they have to get up early. They’re not the gambling type, especially with a gnome like me.”
“Smart fellas,” I sighed. “But I’m relying on you, Babble. Come on, think.”
For a moment, we both looked at the pot with the grains steeping in it. It represented a whole lot of money and a lot of intrigue. We just needed to get to the next step of the brewing, and then we would be in the money.
“It smells like bread in here,” Babble muttered.
“Uh-huh,” I said. “It smells like fresh… wait.”
It smelled like grain, but it sure as hell wasn’t supposed to smell like bread. Bread had yeast and everything. I leaned over the pot and took a big whiff of my new concoction. Sure, it smelled like possibility, but it didn’t smell like bread.
“It’s the beer, right?” Babble asked as he looked up at me.
“It’s nowhere near beer yet,” I whispered to the gnome. “And this doesn’t smell like bread. But you’re right. Something in here does.”
I hadn’t noticed it until he pointed it out, but the barn did smell like fresh bread. It was the best smell in the world, but I had no idea why an empty barn would smell like bread. For a moment, I felt like a dog as we walked around the stable and tried to figure out where it was coming from. It could’ve been the cookhouse, but I knew that Hildegard got her fresh baked goods from the bakery rather than making her own.
I felt my hairs stand on end, and for a second I stopped. I held my finger up to my mouth and stood perfectly still like I was in a game of freeze tag.
And then, a hay bale near the door fell over, and Babble’s eyes widened with surprise.
“Hey!” I shouted.
I almost expected a spiteful dwarf to appear out of the bales, but instead a head of blonde hair emerged.
And then a pair of blue eyes appeared, followed by a pair of bountiful bosoms that I recognized. The owner of said bosoms brushed herself off, and then the baker girl Flora crept out from her hiding spot and dusted off her dress like it was an ordinary thing to hide in a barn.
“Ha, ha,” the blonde beauty laughed and then grinned at us. “Well, I guess I should be getting home. I don’t know why I’m here! I, uh… time to go!”
She took a few steps toward the barn door, but Babble jumped in front of her.
“Not so fast, girl!” the gnome shouted, and he started to jump from side to side while he threw some air punches. “It seems like you have been… umm...”
“Were you spying on us?” I demanded. “Or do you just hang out in stables in your spare time? Are you a horse girl or something?”
“I love horses,” she nodded. “Yeah, I really, really love horses… and the smell of them, too!”
“A likely tale!” Babble shouted. “Nobody loves the smell of horses! And there aren’t any horses in here anyway! You’re not telling the truth!”
I sighed and tried to signal the gnome to back down. I wanted to call this girl out softly, not interrogate her like a police officer.
“Don’t pay any attention to my friend, he’s just surprised,” I murmured as I met her eyes with mine. “Just tell me why you’re here.”
I could see her body soften and a small grin pass over her face as she looked up at me. Yeah, being a giant in this town certainly got a guy a little leeway. I mean, Flora was an absurdly beautiful lady who smelled like fresh bread. I’d never had a girl stalking me, and maybe I was a little impressed by her effort. If not a little freaked out, obviously.
“I’m really sorry,” she mumbled and waved her hands around. “Umm… I just… I just…”
“Just stealing!” Babble huffed.
“What could she be stealing?” I asked. “We haven’t done anything yet.”
“Well...” the gnome sniffed and then looked around for something the woman might want.
“Let’s get a drink, Flora,” I said, and I put my hand on her back.
An electric current seemed to rise up my arm from the contact, and Babble threw me a nasty glare like he knew what had happened. When the baker wasn’t looking, I stuck my tongue out at him over her shoulder. I never would’ve treated an employer back home the same way, but if he was going to be petty, then I could absolutely rise to meet the occasion.
“Am I invited?” Babble sputtered.
“Of course you are,” I told the gnome. “You’re my boss. And this is a professional endeavor.”
“A likely tale…” the gnome muttered as he stalked after us.
The afternoon sun had started to set, and by now, the inn was full of elves and dwarves. There were a few dwarf and small human waiters watching the tables, and Hildegard was at the back of the bar overseeing the whole operation and nodding at her henchmen. I respected how much of a good boss she was, and I was sort of sad that I wasn’t one of her employees anymore.
“I can explain,” Flora started as we made our way into the busy inn. “I just, uh…”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Well, actually, do worry about it. But let’s get a drink, and then we can talk. What do you want?”
“I’d like a Pyotr House,” she smiled, and I nodded in response.
Ha. Pyotr House. I couldn’t wait to show them up. But for now, they could drink their barely hoppy water. It wasn’t like they knew any better.
“Hildegard!” I shouted over the busy bar, and the barkeep’s eyes fixed on me. “Can we get two Pyotr House beers, please!”
I heard a loud cough, and saw that Babble was staring at me and glaring with his arms crossed over his chest. I could see that he was peeved, but I also knew that if he were a ceramic gnome posed exactly in that position, he would’ve had a million housewives in a Home Depot cooing about how cute he was.
“Three Pyotr House beers,” I added, and Hildegard nodded at me with a raised eyebrow.
The bar mistress didn’t break her eye contact with me until she’d smashed all of the tankards on the counter, which she did with an unusual fervor. She looked away from me and waggled her fingers in my direction.
“Thank you,” Hildegard sniffed while Babble pulled at my velvet pants.
I took a small canvas sack from the gnome and placed it on the counter. I watched Hildegard sweep it away without even looking at me, and I sighed as I turned around to hand out the drinks.
“Now, don’t be frivolous,” he said. “We can’t spend all of our money on stalkers!”
“Don’t listen to him,” I said to Flora and smiled. “As I said, he’s just upset.”
“About what?” she asked, and her cheeks flushed pink.
The place was so loud that she obviously hadn’t heard my reluctant employer, which might make it easier to interrogate her.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said as I tried to stifle a laugh. “Anyway, tell me what you were doing in the barn. This is an interrogation, after all.”
“Oh, you’re so kind,” she laughed, and I shot a look down at Babble, who rolled his eyes.
“You’re so kind,” he blabbed to himself before taking a big swig of the golden stuff.
“Shut up,” I muttered down to him. “Anyway, Flora. I know you’re a respectable woman, but I didn’t expect to find you in a barn. You’d better explain yourself.”
“Oh, yes, of course,” she nodded. “Umm, so… fine. Okay. I was following you.”
“Well, that’s weird,” I said as I took a sip of the dwarf Bud Light. “I’ve never been followed before. Is this something that you generally make a habit of, or am I just special?”
“You’re a giant,” she said. “I’ve never seen anyone like you before.”
“That doesn’t just give you free rein to stalk me,” I scolded her, even though I felt like the biggest celebrity in my life.
“Then what’s the deal?” Babble shouted, and this time both of us looked down.
The small creature had not only finished his beer, but was flailing the glass at me. I knew that if I was going to keep him busy and out of my conversation with Flora, I was going to have to pull out the big dogs.
“Why don’t you get a gnomish drink now, Babble?” I asked.
“Of course not… the only thing gnomes make is eggnog,” he told us and then scrunched up his face. “Blech!”
“Want me to get you an eggnog?” I threatened, and even Flora puckered her face like she’d tasted a lemon.
“Of course not,” he scowled in disgust.
I ordered him another Pyotr House from one of the elves at the bar and handed it down. And then, it was time to find out just what the heck was going on with the baker’s assistant.
“I know who sells hops,” the baker said into my ear.
It was really loud in the bar, so it wasn’t like she really needed to lean in so closely. But I felt a sudden sense of electricity as her breath brushed my ear. I had to force myself not to lean closer to her as I waited for Babble to demand to know what she had said. But when I looked down, I realized he had moved on, and I spotted him a moment later talking to a group of women.
“So why were you following us?” I asked. “I’m glad you know who has hops, but it doesn’t explain why you were following us.”
“I was intrigued,” she admitted as she took a sip of beer. “I’ve never met a human brewer before, well, not a good one. But you seemed so sure of yourself, like you really know how to make a good beer.”
“Well, you’re a gutsy girl,” I laughed, and I placed my beer back on the table.
Even though it was weird as hell that she’d been in the barn with us, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of respect for her strange antics. I mean, her entire life seemed to be baking and delivering bread, which couldn’t be that exciting day after day. If I were her, I probably would’ve been looking for a bit of adventure as well.
“I don’t know what that means,” she said. “But I’m sorry for following you two. If you can ever forgive me, I want to help you. As I said, I know the hops sellers. And I’m pretty sure that I could help you to get some of the good ones before the dwarves snatch them up.
I was intrigued, especially since Babble seemed less than sure about his own ability to get some good hops. I looked around the bar again and saw that Babble was now busy telling a big story to a pack of unimpressed-looking elves, so we had a few more minutes before the gnome returned to my side.
“Tell me more,” I said. “I want to get the best ingredients I can, but I know the dwarves usually claim it all for themselves.”
“That they do,” she said. “But I think that we can strike up a deal, if you’d be willing to listen.”
Being a giant in this town certainly carried a lot of weight. It seemed like people were trying to strike a deal with me left, right, and center, and all because I was so much bigger than everyone else.
“Everyone wants a deal,” I sighed, but I still couldn’t peel my eyes away from her. “So what do you want out of this?”
“If I tell you where the hops are, I want to be part of your operation,” she said and grinned. “How does that sound?”
“I’m already sharing part of my operation with Babble and Hildegard,” I said. “And frankly, I’m not sure why I should even trust you. You just spent the whole day following us around and then breaking into the barn.”
“Yeah,” a small voice came from the floor, and I looked down and saw Babble stumbling around. “You’re going to haff… haluff… have to prove your loyalty to us.”
He blinked a few times, and despite the slightly cloudy look in his black and beady eyes, I felt my heart warm. This guy barely knew me, and he believed in me no matter what for some strange reason.
“I can do that,” Flora shrugged. “I’ll get you the hops. Easily. Isn’t that what I offered?”
“It is,” I said as I turned to look at her again. “And if you do deliver on the best hops, then you can be part of our venture.”
“Employee Giant,” Babble hiccupped, and he nodded his head toward an empty corner of the inn. “I’d like a little word with you.”
Flora and I threw each other a knowing glance, but after all, this guy was my employer and my only real investor at the moment. He was the only reason that I had started getting around in Hagop, and even though I didn’t know his origins, he didn’t seem like the type of guy that I wanted as an enemy.
“Of course,” I said as I followed him to the other side of the room.
“Respectfully,” the gnome shouted before gesturing for me to bend to his level, and I crouched down to make the job easier. “Respectfully, your eyes are clouded by her beauty. She was following us, Tyler! And I have a better idea.”
“Well, then, what’s your better idea?” I asked the little guy.
I mean, at the end of the day, my priority was the beer. The pretty lady was one part of the equation, but I had my eyes on the prize. I wanted to win that money at that festival at all costs, and I wanted to set up my own damn brewery.
“I say that we do this,” Babble wrung his hands and cackled. “We sneak into the hops farmer’s place, and we rob them blind from the last of their stock!”
“What?” I snapped. “I don’t want to start my new life in Hagop as a criminal. And what’s the penalty for stealing hops anyway?”
The gnome’s face darkened, and he bit his lip.
“Well, uh…” he said. “It has happened only once in the history of the entire beer festival. And if I recall correctly, it was deemed as a terrible--”
“Terrible trouble,” I finished his sentence with a nod. “So, basically, a death penalty case.”
“Er, well, only if they can prove it was you,” he replied.
“I’m the tallest person in town,” I pointed out. “I’m pretty sure they could prove it easily enough.”
“Only if someone sees us,” he said and grinned.
“Sorry, Babble,” I said. “But I’m going to build my success on good, honest work. I’m not going to rob the farmers or steal coins from people. I’ve got the best beer anywhere, and I’m going to prove it without committing a crime.”
“Stupid moral humans,” Babble muttered.
“Look, we have an in, and I think that we should take it,” I said. “Or… I should take it. You can always bow out of the brewing business if you want, though I’d like you to stay on.”
“Of course I’m staying on!” Babble protested. “But are you completely sure? She seems very shifty. She did a very good job of hiding, after all, and we still don’t know why she was so interested in us.”
“I’m sure,” I said, and we locked eyes.
I barely knew a damn thing about this guy, but even if he was suspicious, it still meant that he was there for me. I could see his gaze soften, and I knew that he trusted me, whether he wanted to or not.
“Fine,” Babble groaned.
“Good,” I smiled, and we made our way back to Flora, who was trying to brush away a bunch of shorter men.
“She’s with me,” I said as I swatted away the other men.
“Just in time,” she said with a sigh of relief. “So… come to any conclusions? What do you think?”
“I’m… I mean, we’re in,” I told her. “Take us to the hops, and you can be part of the beer brewing operation. What do you want, a percentage of the ownership rights or something?”
She furrowed her brow and looked at me in confusion before shaking her head.
“I don’t want any money, if that’s what you’re asking,” she replied. “I just want a project that will stretch my skills. And I must say… I find you intriguing.”
If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve said that she was flirting with me. And in Hagop, I didn’t know any better, so I tried not to smirk as I offered the gorgeous baker woman a smile.
“That’s great news,” I said.
“I think so, too,” she giggled.
“But only if she delivers,” the gnome grumbled as he glared at me.
“We could surely use someone who knows where the best hops are,” I said as I ignored the gnome. “It’s the next ingredient I need as you know.”
“Because she was spying on us,” Babble added.
Flora blushed at that, but she refused to rise to the bait. She took another sip of her beer and then leaned in closer to me.
“So from what I’ve heard, you could get away with the second best hops,” she said. “But I know where to find the best. And that’s what you want, right?”
“Naturally,” I answered. “I only want the best ingredients for my beer.”
“Of course he does,” a familiar voice wafted over, and I looked up to see Hildegard.
Despite the nightly pandemonium playing out in her inn, the bar mistress seemed as cool as a cucumber. And it might’ve been the single beer talking, but I could swear that she almost had a jealous look in her eyes.
“Hildegard,” I smiled. “Flora is joining our brewing team. She’s offered to help us track down some supplies.”
“Interesting,” the inn owner nodded at Flora. “How are your new recipes coming?”
“Oh, I’m still perfecting them,” Flora muttered to herself. “I can’t ever seem to stop… I wonder if they will ever see the light of day…
“Your rose buns were delicious,” I told her, and the blonde blushed. “I thought that they were perfect already.”
Hilly, however, muttered something to herself and shook her head.
“Well, if your beer is as good as you say it is, I can’t wait to serve it to customers,” the bar mistress huffed. “But it has to win.”
“Of course it will win,” I replied.
“To the only beer giant in Hagop,” Flora laughed and took another swig from her beer. “Well, the hops sellers only deal in the afternoon. The sun has set now, but I can meet you at the bakery tomorrow after my shift.”
“I’ve got nowhere better to be tomorrow,” I shrugged. “Unless Babble gets into another scuffle tonight.”
I looked down at the tiny gnome, who was dancing in circles and muttering to himself. If he was drinking the same beer size that I was at the height that he was, then it made sense that he was significantly more drunk than me.
“Wonderful,” Flora giggled. “I work mornings, but I’ll be able to leave when twelve o’clock strikes. I should get home now, because I have to make supper and be up at the crack of dawn!”“Then by all means,” I said as I gestured toward the door. “Don’t let me keep you.”
“Oh, I’ll hold you to that,” she giggled, and the blonde threw me a wink before disappearing in the drunken crowd.
She was one of the most attractive women I’d ever seen in my life, and yet she’d made it her mission to follow us down the rabbit hole of a human making craft beer in a strange land. Maybe the gnome was right about his suspicions of her, but I really hoped she’d come through for us.
“How are the grains spouting?” Hildegard asked.
I pulled my eyes away from the door where Flora had just disappeared and smiled at the inn owner.
“Oh, I think they’re sprouting just fine,” I said.
“That’s certainly good to hear,” she replied as she brushed a dark strand of hair out of her face. “I’m glad it’s all working out for you.”
Before I could reply, she moved down the bar to deal with a surly dwarf. I watched her pour a couple of beers, and then I looked around the bar while she filled an order from one of the elves. I couldn’t believe that this place was full of creatures that didn’t even exist back in Portland. It was like I’d landed in the middle of a Dungeons and Dragons game or something.
Still, I knew that the way forward was to keep my head on straight. Yeah, it was totally unfamiliar surroundings. But if I could keep a clear goal in mind, then I would land in the right place. Hell, it had worked so far. Why not see where tomorrow went?
I looked out the window and saw that it had shifted to night. I’d been drinking all day and the days started early here, so I thought that it was best to get to bed before I was too tired to climb the steps to my room.
“I’m tired,” I said to Babble, who was honoring his name by jumping around in circles and babbling nonsense to any passersby who wanted to listen. From the looks of it, no one did.
“Huh?” he asked, and he stopped spinning around and looked up at me. The drunken gnome gave me a sleepy smile and put his hands in his pockets.
“I think that it’s time for me to go to bed,” I said to him. “I’m beat. What’re your plans tonight?”
“Why, the night has only gotten started!” he laughed. “This is when the gnomes’ work begins! My gambling fortune is yet to be made. Isn’t that exciting?”
I sighed as I imagined a morning spent fighting elves, dwarves, and whatever other creature Babble decided to gamble against. Yep, I was tired as hell, but if I had to fight off any more drunks, I wanted to get it over with before we had to go and get the hops.
“We’re meeting Flora at noon so that we can get the hops,” I told him. “So if you have any debts to settle, try and wake me up early so that we can collect them in time.”
“Oh, of course,” the tiny gnome danced around. “The hops will be ours!”
He’d certainly changed his tune, but I knew that it was drunken optimism. I decided it was a good time to leave the busy tavern, before the gnome turned into a crotchety old man or whatever he was in the next level of drunkenness, and I headed to the stable and into my attic.
Luckily, it was nice and cool, and the sounds of the inn were muffled by the space between us. I settled back into my bed and looked up at the ceiling.
I’d never had such a productive day back home, but in a single day in Hagop, I’d put together a team of investors and workers, and I was about to embark on a career in brewing. I felt unstoppable for the first time in my life, and I loved the feeling.
I didn’t even realize I’d drifted off to sleep until the sound of a rooster woke me. I opened my eyes and squinted at the sunlight that was streaming into my attic space, and as I stretched, I realized I felt more well-rested than I had in years.
And best of all, it was time to gather the hops.
Just wait until the dwarves heard about that.