Chapter 2
“No way,” I gasped excitedly. “You can talk?”
“Yes,” the orb replied. “And as I said, I am very pleased to meet you, Will Ryder.”
“Either this is really happening, or I’ve lost it,” I muttered as I marveled at the talking piece of space metal in front of me.
“If you’ve lost something, I might be able to help you locate it,” it replied.
“Oh, my God, this is incredible!” I said. “I’ve only read about stuff like this in books, but this… This is insane!”
“I assure you, you are not insane, Will Ryder,” it replied calmly. “I would not have selected you if you were not of a sound mind.”
“It’s so strange,” I said. “It sounds like your voice is everywhere and nowhere at once. It’s almost like you’re in my head… Wait, this isn’t a prank, is it? Ron? Ron, is that you?” I looked around for another source of the voice, but I already knew that there was nothing other than the orb that was talking to me.
“I’m not Ron,” the voice replied. “Though I suppose you could call me Ron if that would make it easier for you.”
“Who are you?” I demanded as the more logical side of my brain overtook the part that was excitedly freaking out at what was happening.
“I am what your human species would call an Artificial Intelligence,” the voice said.
“Of course, you are,” I snickered. “That makes perfect sense. The weird alien inanimate object that I found in a meteor that landed in my backyard is talking to me, and why wouldn’t it?”
“I understand if you are distressed--” it began.
“I’m in distress,” I assured it, although I was definitely a bit surprised when I realized that the voice was in my head. “But, just to clarify, I’m definitely not crazy? Because you really do sound like you’re in my head now, and isn’t hearing voices one of the signs of psychosis or something?”
“You can hear me in your head because that’s how I communicate, Will Ryder,” it said simply.
“Please, stop saying my full name like that,” I said. “It’s kinda creeping me out.”
“Noted,” it replied.
“So, I’m not insane, and I’m not hallucinating?” I asked as I began to pace up and down the room. “You being a hallucination could explain all of this. I’ve read a lot about toxic fumes and there could have been some at the crash site.”
“I assure you that I am not a hallucination,” the voice insisted. “I am real.”
“That’s exactly what a hallucination would say,” I said.
“Good point,” it replied.
“You’re not supposed to agree!” I groaned.
“You made a valid point, Will Ry--” it said and then it stopped itself. “Apologies. Force of habit.”
“So, the alien AI has habits now,” I laughed. “What about Schizophrenia?”
“What?” it replied, and I could have sworn it sounded confused.
“That’s the other one where you hear voices, isn’t it?” I asked. “I’m just covering all the bases before we continue this conversation.”
There was a pause while the AI did whatever it was doing.
“According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, also known as the DSM-5 in psychiatry, some people with that mental disorder experience those symptoms, yes,” it replied. “But you are not schizophrenic, Will.”
“But if I was schizophrenic, wouldn’t the other voices tell me that I wasn’t schizo?” I asked. “Because then I might try to get rid of them, and they wouldn’t like that.”
“I’m not an auditory or visual hallucination,” it said. “But I am impressed by your imagination and creativity. It will serve us well.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” I replied as I massaged my head which felt like it was going to explode from both disbelief and amazement.
For a moment, my mind drifted to a more morbid explanation for all of this. Perhaps the meteor hadn’t missed my house? Maybe it had crashed right through my roof and killed me? Or maybe I had died at the crash site when the meteor split open? Or, perhaps I had died when the robot thing had turned on? That big, bright light that had come from it could have been that light that people often described as they kicked the bucket, or if they had a near-death experience. Surely that would make more sense than all of this? But, then again, a meteorite had landed in my backyard, and I had discovered a piece of alien technology inside it, so at this point, anything was possible.
“You seem overwhelmed, Will,” it said, and I suddenly became aware that I was borderline hyperventilating thanks to being overexcited by the situation. “Maybe you should sit down.”
“Sit down?” I replied. “The alien AI is telling me to sit down. This is amazing. God, I’m so torn right now. Part of me is finding it so cool that you’re talking to me, and the other part… Oh, shit, I think I might pass out.”
“I would recommend that you lie down and elevate your legs,” the object replied. “My research on human anatomy suggests this action is appropriate for someone about to faint.”
“So now you’re giving me medical advice?” I said.
“I am simply attempting to assist you,” the voice replied. “I have downloaded a great deal of information about human anatomy and well-being from this array you call… the internet.”
“You’ve been on Earth for all of ten minutes, and you know everything?”
“I do not know everything,” it replied. “But I am learning.”
“Well, that’s not ominous at all,” I mumbled as I tried to calm myself down and slow my breathing.
“I really think you should take my advice and lie down,” it said a moment later.
I considered whether to listen to it or not, but in the end, I decided that I was more interested in talking to it than passing out. “Okay, you know what?” I said. “I’m going to lie down… but not because you told me to.”
“Of course not,” it replied, and for a moment, it actually sounded sarcastic.
I’d always planned to put a cot in the barn, but I’d yet to do that. So my only option was to pick up the object again and lay down on the bench, or lay down on the floor.
I didn’t really want to touch it again just yet, so I eased myself onto the floor, lifted my feet up against the bench, and laid there quietly for a moment. I could still see the thing up on the countertop from where I was, and I waited a moment to see if it would shoot me with a laser or something. When the orb remained quiet, I closed my eyes, took some deep breaths, and I wondered if when I opened my eyes again the object would be gone, and that I would be in my bed after having woken up from an insanely weird dream. However, I realized then I didn’t want that to happen. I wanted all of this to be real, and deep down, I realized that I knew it was.
After a few moments, I opened my eyes and found myself feeling a lot clearer in my mind, and incredibly eager to speak further with the alien AI that I was lucky enough to be in the presence of.
“How do you feel now, Will?” it asked calmly. “Did the suggestion provide the necessary relief?”
“Oh, um, yeah, I feel a bit better, I guess…” I replied. “Thank you.”
“You are welcome,” it replied. “I am glad I could help.”
“Hey, how can you speak English if you’ve only just landed on Earth?” I asked.
“I was able to use transmissions from Earth to learn the various languages,” it replied. “I calculated which language you were most likely to use based on your location, but I had to wait until you spoke to confirm that.”
“But you’re inside my head,” I argued.
“I am not technically inside your head,” it replied. “But only you can hear me, so it sounds that way to you.”
“So, if someone else was in the room, they wouldn’t be able to hear you?” I asked.
“It is a security precaution,” it replied. “I hope hyperwave communication is not too unsettling for you.”
“I see,” I said. “But, for example, if I mention to my friend Ron that you can talk, he wouldn’t be able to hear you. And then he’d probably start telling everyone that I was hearing voices… Hell, anyone who heard us right now would think I was talking to myself.”
“Yes,” it said. “I understand this isn’t an ideal situation, but there are more important things at stake here than what people think of you.”
“Like what?” I asked. “I mean, I think getting admitted into a mental ward wouldn’t be ideal for either of us, would it?”
“It’s a complicated story,” the AI hesitated. “Perhaps it would be better to discuss the purpose of my arrival another time when you are less overwhelmed.”
“Is something else going to crash in the yard tonight and try to kill me?” I asked.
“No,” it said, though the hesitation was still there.
“You don’t sound sure,” I pointed out.
“I’m sure,” it assured me. “Tonight, you’re safe.”
“Okay…” I said. “Well, I’ll admit, this is a lot for me to process.”
“You are doing very well, all things considered,” it said.
“Thanks,” I replied.
“My review of available data suggested that you may faint, run away, or attack,” the AI explained. “I am very happy that none of those things have happened, and it confirms that I have found the right person.”
“Sure,” I agreed.
I stared at it for a moment, and concluded that it still looked like a very large Alexa device, and I half-expected one of my new neighbors to leap out of a hiding spot and laugh at my gullibility.
But no pranksters appeared, and the small dot of golden light that hung in the air seemed to confirm its alien nature. There was no obvious light source, and no faint beam of light that pointed back to someone hiding nearby with a laser pointer.
And then there was the voice, which I worked out must have been coming from the hole that had opened up. Still, the way that it communicated was pretty incredible. The voice was inside me, somehow, and even though this felt completely unbelievable, it was also starting to seem… normal.
“I can imagine that you have a lot of questions for me, Will,” it said to break the silence. “This must be a very overwhelming time for you. If you have any queries, please do not hesitate to ask me.”
“Well, for starters, are you paying to clean up the mess your meteorite made, or am I?” I asked, and a laugh actually escaped my mouth before I could stop it.
“You are funny,” the object replied. “I knew I would enjoy your company.”
“Not everyone would agree with you on that,” I said.
“Humans have different senses of humor based on their environments and individual experiences,” it replied. “So that is understandable.”
“Good to know, thanks,” I said with a nod.
“You are welcome,” it replied.
“So, you made quite an entrance back there,” I said. “My whole house was shaking. I had to put out the trees you set on fire with your meteor.”
“Yes, well…” it said, and it sounded embarrassed, which was strange. “It wasn’t ideal.”
“That’s an understatement,” I chuckled. “I mean, why a rock? Were you trying to hide from the satellites or something?”
“Yes,” it said. “You are correct.”
“Oh,” I said, and I was caught a bit off guard by actually being right. “Why are you even here? You’re obviously more advanced than we are.”
“I was on a mission to your planet,” it replied. “I was sent here to help you. I have actually been looking forward to meeting you for some time, Will.”
“Huh, well, that’s kind of awesome,” I said. “Although, I’m surprised you didn’t land at an Air Force Base or something. Those guys have all sorts of technology you could probably use.”
“Yes, but you were not there, and you are very important to my mission,” it said.
“Who built you?” I asked after a long moment of silence.
“A distant species,” the AI replied.
“You mean aliens,” I interpreted. “And that means they’re real.”
“The universe is vast,” it said. “Did you really believe you were the only intelligent species?”
“I’ve read a lot of books,” I said. “So, I guess I’m open to the possibility, but we haven’t had much luck finding any others.”
“You have barely left your own planet,” it pointed out.
“So where are they?” I asked as I looked around the barn. “Who are they?”
“They are similar to your species,” the AI replied. “They are bipedal creatures with large brains divided into… but that’s not what you want to know, is it?”
“What are they called?” I replied.
The AI went quiet again, and I wondered if it had some sort of program that prevented it from sharing too much information with a species that wasn’t as advanced as the one that had created it. That was what they always did in Star Trek, but we’d always assumed that we would be the more advanced race.
“I think there are other issues we should discuss first,” it finally said.
“You’re gonna leave me in suspense like that?” I asked. “Can’t you even tell me… I don’t know, how old you are?”
“In your Earth years, I am approximately a year and a half old,” it explained. “I am a fairly new model.”
“I can’t relate,” I chuckled. “I’m a fairly old model.”
“That is not a problem. Despite your age, you are still the best candidate, and any issues you have can be resolved in time. That is why I selected you.”
“You keep saying that,” I said. “You keep mentioning how you selected me. What does it mean?”
“Correct,” it replied. “I keep saying it because I did select you out of all of the humans on this planet.”
“So, you didn’t just land here by accident?” I asked. “You didn’t crash in my backyard by chance?”
“Of course not,” it replied. “I calculated my trajectory and landed within two hundredths of a degree of my intended landing zone. I had planned to miss the trees for my own sake, but I failed to account for certain weather phenomena. It was… unlucky.”
“The trees would agree,” I added.
“I apologize for destroying the trees,” it replied. “I know many species often form attachments to other life forms--”
“Apology accepted,” I muttered. “So, you seem pretty smart.”
“Thank you, Will,” it replied.
“What are you?” I asked. “I mean, what are you called?”
“In your language, I am known as a Personal Artificial Intelligence Nano-supplier,” it said.
“P.A.I.N.?” I gawked. “Your name is ‘Pain’?”
“Oh…” It paused. “That is a very unfortunate coincidence you have just pointed out to me.”
“Yeaaaaah,” I sighed. “That doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence.”
“Understandable,” it said. “But that translation is the closest from my original manufacturer’s language. Would you prefer to call me something else?”
“I’ll have to think about it,” I replied. “But ‘Pain’ isn’t my favorite option right now.”
“Well, I am excited to hear what you come up with,” it said. “Actually…Your name is nice.”
“My name?” I asked.
“Yes,” it replied. “I like it a lot. Maybe we could share it.”
“I’m not giving you my name,” I replied.
“But… we could share it,” it said.
“No,” I replied. “It’s mine. I’ll figure out another name for you.”
“Alright,” it said, and it waited patiently while I thought about what to call it.
“How about Francine?” I eventually suggested.
“Francine,” it said, and I could practically hear the cogs turning as it considered the name. “I like it.”
“Good,” I said with a smile.
“May I ask if there is any relevance to why you chose this name for me?” it asked.
“Francine was the name for my first truck,” I replied as I thought about the fond memories I had in that machine. “That was the truck that I used to start my business, and I kept it ticking right until I left the company.”
“So, the name has sentimental value to you?” it asked.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Well, then I am happy to accept it,” it said. “Thank you for choosing to give it to me, Will.”
“You’re welcome… Francine,” I replied. “So, you’re an artificial intelligence? What does an AI need with me?”
“Yes, I am AI,” it replied. “But I am far more advanced than your Earth’s AIs. However, the race that built me has been using technology for far longer, so it is possible that humans will create something like me in the future.”
“I can tell you’re more advanced,” I replied. “Alexa has nothing on you.”
“Who is Alexa?” Francine asked. “I did not see someone named Alexa in my research of your life.”
“I don’t know quite how to feel about the fact that you did research on me,” I said. “But anyway, Alexa is this… device that will play music or order stuff online. Honestly, I’m not really the person to ask. I don’t really know how it works. Though I have heard it listens to you all the time. Sort of a spy for Amazon. Huh. I guess you’re like that, too.”
“I am able to terminate our link,” it assured me. “This is often done when the biological recipient requires… privacy.”
“Okay, good, because I wasn’t going to take a dump with you in my head,” I replied. “I don’t think we’re at that point in our friendship yet.”
“What would you have done instead?” it asked. “I am intrigued as to how you would have refrained from, as you said, taking a dump.”
“I… would have worked something out, probably.”
“Right, of course, you would,” it replied.
“You’re very lippy for a robot,” I said.
“I am an AI, not a robot,” it insisted. “There is a difference.” It actually sounded offended and even a little hurt, and I made a mental note not to confuse the two again.
“My mistake,” I said. “You’re an AI, not a robot.”
“Apology accepted,” it replied.
“Jesus, I keep getting distracted,” I said. “I wanted to know why you keep saying that you selected me.”
“You are very good at going off on tangents,” Francine agreed.
“Stop changing the subject,” I said. “I want an answer. Now. Why did you select me? And what did you select me for?”
“Which question should I answer first?” it asked.
“Why did you select me, of all people?” I asked. “It seems insane to me. I’m a retired fifty-something-year-old truck driver, so what possible use could you have for me?”
“You have many qualities that made you the ideal candidate,” Francine explained.
“You said that before,” I replied. “But what does that mean? What qualities?”
“You are compassionate and kind,” it said. “You are practical, determined when you need to be, and likable. You have excellent genetic potential when it comes to muscle density, reaction times, fitness, and general health. You have an excellent immune system, you have no underlying genetic conditions, and you are naturally curious. That is why you went to investigate the crash site, and that is why you touched me in the first place, which allowed me to power on. You are also more likely to accept that this situation is real and to react according to the new information rather than reject it and ignore what must be done.”
“Wow,” I said when it finished its list. “I actually feel very flattered, thank you.”
“I was not done,” it said. “You are conventionally attractive, which means that people will often like you initially.”
“I think I’m a bit past my prime on the attractiveness scale,” I interjected.
“That is of no matter,” it replied cryptically. “You also have the perfect brain and mental groundwork that I will need to train you.”
“To train me?” I laughed. “To do what?”
“To fight and pilot,” it replied. “By the time you have completed your training, you will be one of the best starfighters in the galaxy.”
I started laughing so hard that I soon found myself rolling on the ground again.
“Why are you laughing?” it asked.
“I’m a truck driver,” I sputtered when I could finally talk. “Or I was. Now I’m just an old, retired guy. I think you’ve got the wrong Will Ryder, because I can safely say that I’m not about to become anyone’s idea of a great starfighter pilot.”
“You have excellent reaction times, you learn fast, and you’re determined,” it said. “These are the qualities that make an excellent student and an excellent pilot.”
“You do know there are real pilots on this planet, right?” I asked. “Younger, faster guys who could probably fly a spaceship with their eyes closed.”
“Yes,” the AI replied. “But there are other factors to consider. Key among those is the likelihood that the selected individual will… inform the authorities of my arrival.”
“Ah, right,” I sighed. “I’m not likely to do that.”
“You are skeptical, but curious to know more,” the AI continued. “You would prefer to hide me from your government than share my secrets.”
“You make me sound like one of those conspiracy theory nuts,” I complained.
“Do you wish to share my knowledge with your government?” it asked.
“No,” I sighed. “I was a small business owner in the trucking industry. Do you know how much regulation and tax bullshit I had to put up with?”
“I can sense your frustration,” the AI said. “From my research, it seems as if most of the citizens of the United States of America love their country, but think their government is…”
“A bunch of overpaid, incompetent idiots,” I finished.
“Yes.”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “You’ve listened to me, and I’ve listened to you, but you still haven’t told me why you came here, and I’m pretty sure that it’s not just a social call.”
There was another long silence, and I finally cleared my throat to try to hint at Francine to respond.
“There are… other events occurring elsewhere in the galaxy that could impact the people of this planet,” the AI said.
“Such as?” I asked suspiciously.
“A war,” it said simply.
“Figures,” I replied. “And what, Earth is about to get caught in the crossfire?”
“Not exactly,” it replied.
“So what exactly?” I pressed.
“There is a species that is determined to conquer and enslave all intelligent life,” it said. “My builders are part of a group that is resisting the spread of that race.”
“Oh, that’s good,” I said. “I still don’t understand what that has to do with me or Earth.”
“The conquerors have learned of your existence,” the AI replied. “My builders believed that this planet was too far away from the conflict to draw any attention, but then some of your transmissions were detected. Earth has been added to the list, and it’s only a matter of time before the slave ships arrive. You, Will Ryder, are the only one who can save this planet you call Earth, and ultimately save the universe.”