Chapter 3
I stared at the AI, mouth agape, in total shock.
And then, a hysterical laugh started to pour out of me as though a faucet had been turned on. I laughed for a good minute straight, and a few tears even sprang out of my eyes and rolled onto my cheeks. I wiped them away and sighed, and eventually, the laughter died out.
“Did you hear what I said?” Francine asked me.
“Yep,” I replied.
“Then why did you laugh?” it asked. “I was not aware that I had made a joke.”
“You didn’t,” I replied. “I just can’t believe what I’m hearing. It’s ridiculous.”
“It is not ridiculous,” it said.
“Yes, it is”
“No, it is not,” it said. “What do you find so ridiculous?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe the part where you said I’m supposed to save the Earth from an alien invasion?” I replied.
“I can see how that might seem overwhelming,” it replied.
“You think?” I said.
“I am sorry to have to tell you under these circumstances,” it replied. “But if you are going to be prepared to fight when they arrive, then we need to begin right away.”
“Begin?” I asked. “Oh right, you mean the whole training me up to be some insane superhero space fighter pilot?”
“Yes,” it replied simply.
“This is nuts,” I sighed.
“I apologize,” it replied. “I understand this is difficult for you to accept, but I don’t know what else I can say to convince you.”
“I’m a fifty-five-year-old man from Kansas who was a truck driver his whole life,” I sighed. “I’ve never flown a plane let alone a Goddamn spaceship, and you seriously expect me to believe that I’m some kind of ‘chosen one’ who’s going to save the Earth from an entire fleet of aliens that want to invade it? Seriously? Me, of all people? I’m well past my prime.”
“You are the best candidate,” Francine stated. “That is why I selected you.”
“Is there a chance your calculations were off?” I asked. “Just like they were off when you crashed your stupid meteor into my trees.”
“I know you are upset about those trees,” the AI said. “You have made that very clear.”
“I don’t care about the damned trees!” I shouted.
“Are you sure about that?” it replied.
“I care about the fact that you need me to somehow save the planet on my own when I am possibly the most underqualified person you could have asked,” I said. “And I also care that it is almost three in the morning and that this is probably some weird delusion-daydream that I am having thanks to exhaustion.”
“It is not,” it replied.
“Whatever,” I said. “I’m going back to my house, and then I’m going to sleep. While I do that, maybe you can do some more calculations or whatever it is that you do so you can find someone else to be the hero.”
“Will, please do not be unreasonable,” it said.
“Me, unreasonable?” I laughed. “You just asked an old retired guy who is forty pounds overweight and probably can’t do ten push-ups to go on some crazy quest to save the planet.”
“I can help with the physical aspect of the task,” it said.
“Whatever,” I said. “But I’m just a lowly human, which means I need sleep. I’m going back to bed.”
I flicked off the light, ignored the glow from the orb, and stomped across the barn to the door. The warm glow from the kitchen light called to me as I trudged back across the dewy grass, and all I could think about was crawling beneath the covers and pretending that none of this night’s weird events had happened.
I refused to look back toward the barn because part of me was afraid that I would see that faint glow, but another part was equally afraid that I wouldn’t see anything. I couldn’t decide which fate was worse, that some alien intelligence had mistaken me for a hero that could save the Earth from an invasion, or that I had finally gone insane, and my neighbors would be forced to have me committed. Well, I wasn’t sure if that was really possible unless I threatened someone, but what if the AI told me that the aliens could look like humans? Would I end up like Jack Nicholson in The Shining and take orders from some creature no one else could see or hear?
“You’ll still be able to hear me,” Francine’s voice suddenly piped up inside my head. “We do not need to be within visual range.”
“Are you for real, robot?” I sighed as I ground to a halt in the middle of the field and took a deep, calming breath of the warm night air. “Are you reading my mind right now?”
“I explained--” it started to say.
“You also said you could turn it off,” I huffed as I started to walk again. “Most people would take my departure as a cue that I didn’t want you listening to my thoughts.”
“I know you want me to leave you alone,” it sighed. “But I can’t do that yet. We’re losing time that we can’t afford to.”
“Damn it,” I muttered as I stared at the kitchen light. “So you can reach me anywhere?”
“There is a range,” it admitted. “But your house is still within acceptable bounds--”
“There’s a range?” I asked hopefully. “What is it?”
“It depends on certain factors,” the AI replied. “Until I gain a more appropriate auxiliary power source, certain natural features as well as human-made structures can impact transmission capabilities, as well as weather conditions--”
“Like a freaking satellite dish,” I muttered. “Right, got it.”
Of course, I could just wander off to a far enough distance that the connection would be lost between us, but I lived in the middle of nowhere, and it was the middle of the night. I had nowhere to go and nothing else to do, and as much as I hated to admit it, my curiosity was burning a hole from my brain through my forehead. And if I was being honest, I didn’t think I could actually sleep. I could climb into bed, but I knew I’d just stare at the ceiling the rest of the night.
“Logically, you should return to the barn, Will,” Francine suggested. “Though it isn’t necessary. I can simply provide you with information tonight and begin our training sessions after you’ve laid in bed for a few hours.”
“Training sessions,” I repeated as I stopped in the middle of the field.
“I thought that was clear,” it replied. “As you’ve reminded me several times, you have no practical experience in many relevant areas, and while you have the necessary talent, you must still learn how to use the skills.”
“Like a freakin’ Jedi,” I chuckled. “I guess that makes you Yoda.”
“Yoda?” it asked.
“Cultural reference,” I replied. “Check under Star Wars.”
“Ah,” it responded a moment later. “Does this mean you’re returning to the barn so we can begin?”
I hesitated.
The idea that I was going to be a starpilot who was going to save the Earth from an alien invasion was preposterous, but… this was the most amazing experience I’ve ever had, and I was damned curious to know more. If it turned out to all be a dream or a hallucination, what did it hurt to go along with it for now?
“I am,” I sighed as I turned around and started to walk back along the track.
At least I could see the faint glow in the cracks between the boards, so I wasn’t completely crazy. The light actually started to look… warmer as I drew closer, and damned if I didn’t sense that the AI was happy about my decision.
“Welcome back to the shed, Will,” it said innocently.
“Barn,” I corrected.
“Ahh, yes,” it replied. “I now see that is a better word. Thank you for teaching me.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m not going to be able to sleep, so you win. Tell me what we have to do.”
“Excellent. I believe our first discussion should be about the timeline for the next few months.”
“The timeline,” I snorted. “You sound like me when I was running my trucking crew.”
“And I sense you often found those discussions annoying,” the AI replied.
“Well, I did wish guys would just work harder and smarter so I wouldn’t have to babysit them so much.”
“That is understandable. We have a limited amount of time to prepare, and by my calculations, we will need every moment if we are to achieve our goals--”
“Tell me more about the beings who sent you,” I demanded. “Why do they care what happens here?”
“They don’t want Earth to suffer the same fate as their own world,” the AI replied.
“Uh-huh,” I said and shook my head.
“You don’t believe that,” the AI noted. “And given human history, I understand why you would be skeptical of another race’s altruistic intentions.”
“They have to be getting something out of this,” I insisted.
The AI went quiet, but I could feel that it was trying to find a response, and I wondered if I could also sense if it tried to lie to me.
“There is a belief that if you are able to successfully defend against an invasion, then you will draw more ships to this quadrant, away from other planets,” it said.
“Ahhhh,” I replied. “That makes more sense. But wouldn’t it make more sense to send a bunch of you AIs, so we could have a whole group of superheroes to fight the bad guys?”
“There were… issues.” I could have sworn the thing sighed then. “There were limited resources available for my construction, and my creators were afraid that if multiple units were sent, the enemy would be alerted to their plan and intercept us before we could fulfill our mission.”
“Which would draw the wrath of the bad guys back on the creators,” I finished.
“Yes,” it agreed.
“What if the resistance doesn’t hold for long enough?” I asked.
“Then you are probably… fucked,” it replied.
“Whoa!” I laughed. “Where the hell did that come from?”
“What?” it asked.
“The f-bomb,” I said.
“Did I use the term incorrectly?” it asked.
“No, you used it right, I just really wasn’t expecting you to cuss,” I replied.
“I am trying to assimilate and be more relatable for you,” it said. “Because you are my… ‘homie’ now.”
“Oh, God, make it stop,” I chuckled. “Please, never say homie again.”
“Very well, I will remove ‘homie’ from my vocabulary,” it replied. “Although, I quite like that term.”
“Well, I don’t, and I’m the so-called chosen one, so I get to choose,” I said.
“Fine.” It seemed to laugh.
“So, we have a few months before the alien dudes come and try to kill everyone and take over Earth,” I sighed. “What will I need to do in the meantime to become this awesome hero?”
“I have compiled the list of our first assignments,” it replied. “We will not be able to move forward with the protection of Earth until we have completed these tasks.”
“No pressure there,” I remarked. “So, what are these tasks?”
“First, we must begin the process of building and upgrading my AI core into a spaceship,” it said. “This will require certain rare materials--”
“Oh, shit,” I said and shook my head. “You are the spaceship I’m supposed to pilot?”
“Yes.”
“But why didn’t you show up all ready to fly instead of looking like a metal basketball?“
“Unfortunately, this was the best way to sneak my core across the galaxy and into your atmosphere without detection from our enemies and your government. Now that I am here, and you are willing, we must rebuild my hull and power components using what technology we can on Earth.”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to tell me I have to steal a bunch of… what did you say, ‘rare materials’?” I said. “Because I sure as hell don’t have enough money in my retirement account to buy a bunch of whatever materials we’re going to need.”
“I am aware of Earth’s monetary system,” it said. “And I believe we may have alternatives.”
“Ooookay,” I drawled. “We’ll come back to that. Is my training supposed to kick in soon as well?”
“Yes,” it agreed. “We’ll need to shape your body and mind as well.”
“I’m not sure how you are going to do that,” I said as I glanced at the spare tire around my waist. “I’ve spent most of my life sitting in a truck or sitting behind a desk managing dudes who sit in trucks. What type of training are we talking about?”
“There will be physical training to start with,” it said. “You will need to be in top physical form, after all. You will also need to learn various fighting techniques and how to use a range of weapons. You will also need certain engineering and construction skill sets to assist in the construction and maintenance of the ship.”
“Here’s the thing,” I said. “I’m at that point in my life where even if I wanted to run a marathon, it would be really hard to do so. I mean, with enough training, and if I gave up chocolate donuts… well, you get the idea. I’m not going to be anyone’s idea of the perfect man. It’s just not possible.
“I’m aware of your physical limitations,” it replied. “And I agree that physical activity can only achieve so much. There is an alternative.”
“I’m not sure I like the sound of that,” I protested. “Are you gonna do lipo or something?”
“Lipo?” it asked. “Ah, liposuction, I understand. No, I do not intend to perform surgery. Fortunately for you, my creators have more advanced medical technology than humans, and so we have another option.”
“So, how are you going to train a guy my age how to fight, then?” I asked. “I took a self-defense class when I was fourteen, but other than that, I’m lucky enough that I’ve only ever had to fight a few times.”
“No matter,” it replied. “I can help you learn very quickly.”
“Oh, yeah?” I chuckled.
“I am confident that you will learn quickly with my help.”
“I’m glad one of us is,” I said. “Alright, alien AI, enlighten me. What’s the first step to the new me.”
“Touch me,” it instructed.
“Excuse me?” I protested.
“It doesn’t matter where,” it added. “If you’ll just pick me up again…”
“Shit,” I muttered as I looked around the barn. “I don’t know about this. The last time I touched you, I ended up with your voice in my head.”
“It’s perfectly safe,” the AI replied. “Certainly safer than liposuction.”
“Alright. In for a penny, in for a pound. I guess.” I walked over to the workbench and picked up the orb. It still felt warm, and as I held it in my hands, the link between us felt even stronger. And then, my fingertips started to tingle, and the sensation quickly spread up my arms to the rest of my body.
“What the hell is happening to me?” I demanded.
“Just try to relax,” it replied. “It will be over in a moment.”
“What… are… you doing?” I gasped as my fingers went numb.
“You will see soon enough,” it replied.
I had blood taken for a test a couple of years earlier, but this, however, was a totally opposite feeling. It felt like a freezing-cold liquid was being injected into my veins, and it was slowly spreading along the same pathway as the tingling sensation.
I could feel my pulse quicken as the substance continued on up my arms and into the rest of my body, and I tried not to panic as it entered my head and caused a feeling that was very similar to that of brain freeze. I put the AI down and grabbed hold of the edge of the workbench in order to steady myself. As unnerving and as strange as this sensation was, it also felt weirdly empowering. It was like I was a battery that was being recharged, and I could feel my entire body tingle with the sudden burst of energy like I’d just slammed a gallon of coffee.
It was all over in about ten seconds, but it had felt a lot longer on my side of things. As soon as it was done, the coldness dissipated, and I stood up from the bench to give myself a quick pat down to make sure everything was in order. My body still felt weird, though, but in a good way, although I might have just been in shock or denial about the AI having just pumped me full of some alien goo.
“What was that?” I asked as I came out of my stunned trance. “What did you just put in me?”
“A solution containing nanotechnology developed by my creators,” Francine explained.
“It feels… amazing,” I admitted.
“Yes, it does have that effect when put into a biological body.”
“Nanotechnology, right?” I said. “Why did you give it to me? What will it do?”
“It will help you, trust me,” it replied. “You will notice the difference almost immediately.”
“Difference?” I asked. “What difference?”
“I could try to explain, but it will be easier for you to simply experience it.”
“Cryptic as per usual, I see,” I sighed. “Alright, well, is that all, or did you want to pump some more alien juice into me while you’re at it?”
“That is all,” it said. “You should get some rest and let the nanobots do their job. We have a lot of work to start on tomorrow.”
“Yeah, you said that,” I replied as I yawned. “Man, I didn’t think I would sleep tonight, but now I feel like my eyelids won’t stay open.”
“That’s good,” it assured me. “The nanobots will be able to work more efficiently while you’re asleep.”
“Fine,” I said and stifled another yawn. “I’m heading back to the house, then.”
“Goodnight, Will Ryder,” it said. “Thank you for agreeing to work with me to save the Galaxy.”
“Good night, Francine,” I replied with a smirk.
I turned off the light and left the barn. On my way across the field, I turned back to the wooden structure and saw the golden light go out inside it. The AI had turned itself off for the time being, and I couldn’t feel its presence anymore in my mind, either, which was actually quite a relief.
I ran back to the house, closed the door, and let out a sigh as I leaned against it. I was still stunned, but I managed to turn off the lights and the TV, and then hauled my suddenly tired self to bed. I knew there was still a mess in the kitchen thanks to the glass that had smashed, but I decided that was tomorrow-Will’s problem.
After all, the bed was calling me, and it had never felt so warm and inviting before. I pulled the blankets tight around me as I nestled into my favorite spot, and my eyelids drifted shut before my head even touched the pillow.
Most nights, I’d lay awake for at least ten minutes or so while I thought about the day that’d passed and the days ahead, but that night, I barely had time to think ‘what a strange day it’s been’ before I was out. I must have had dreams, because I always did, but I couldn’t remember them at all the next morning. All I knew for sure was when I woke up, I hadn’t felt this good in a very long time.
I actually bounded into the bathroom, where I ran through my usual morning routine with a lot more energy than I usually had. I remembered the burst of life I’d felt the night before, and I wondered if this was going to be the way I felt from now on. God, it felt good, and I really didn’t want it to fade away.
My shower was longer than usual, partly because I was afraid that the sudden burst of energy would start to fade once I actually had to do something. When the steamy water started to cool off, though, I finally stepped out, wrapped a towel around my waist, and then walked over to the sink.
The mirror was fogged up from the long, hot shower, so I wiped the condensation away with my hand. I was humming to myself, which was something I usually only did when I was in a really good mood, but hey, I was feeling like a brand-new guy, so why not?
And then my hand froze, and I found myself blinking at a familiar yet unfamiliar face in the mirror.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing in the mirror. It was me, but it was me from about ten years ago. My thick brown hair was back without a trace of gray to be seen, my eyes looked brighter, and the wrinkles at the corners of my eyes and mouth were barely noticeable. The sagging skin was gone as well, and the dark splotches beneath my eyes were only a faint discoloration.
For the first time since I’d woken up, I really looked down at the rest of my body. The age spots had faded, and there was just the faintest trace of a six-pack around my abs. I could even see muscle tone in my thighs.
“Holy crap…” I gasped as I pawed at my refreshed, taut skin. “What in the name of…”
“Good morning, Will,” the AI announced. “Are you satisfied with the results?”
“Yeah, I’d say so,” I said. “You know, rich people would kill for that nanobot stuff.”
“Regrettably, all of my nanotechnology has been tuned to your DNA,” it replied. “So we will not be able to earn any money by selling it.”
“I’m not complaining,” I laughed. “But you seriously can’t just adjust it for someone else?”
“It would take too long, and the raw materials would be in short supply on this planet,” it replied. “As I said last night, we only have a few months.”
“So this is the real reason you couldn’t let me just leave,” I noted. “You’re nanobots were already programmed for me. If I’d refused…”
“I would have been forced to find another suitable candidate,” the AI replied. “And there wasn’t time.”
“So you took a big risk selecting me,” I said as I admired my younger-looking self in the mirror.
“All candidates are a risk,” it asserted. “You were the one most likely to say yes.”
“Well, you were right about that,” I said as I turned back to the mirror. “I do feel better. And I certainly look younger.”
“It will help your fitness levels, strength, and flexibility in order to improve your reactions and your ability to fight,” Francine explained. “There is still ongoing work, and you will continue to adjust until your body is at its peak physical point, but I believe we could begin with some fundamentals to help your muscles engage.”
“Hot damn,” I replied. “What’s up first?”
But Francine didn’t respond right away, and I had the weirdest feeling that it had turned its focus to something else. I felt a brief pang of jealousy, which I chalked up to higher testosterone levels, and tapped my foot impatiently while I waited for it to respond.
“Our first session will have to wait,” it said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because there are visitors approaching the property,” it said.
“Visitors?” I said. “Who?”
“I am trying to identify them,” it replied. “They are a few kilometers away.”
“Okay,” I said. “Please use miles for my sake.”
“As you wish, but there is one thing you should know,” it added.
“Which is?” I asked.
“They are armed,” it said.