Crystal Clear
I loved diamonds.
Probably not for the same reason most do, though.
See, the thing about being a villain these days is that it’s quite a bit harder. Even back in the nineties you could still rob a bank and quite often, they’d have those delightful big bags of money. Just sacks of cash. Nothing could compare to seeing that, unless they actually stitched dollar signs on them. Sadly, that’s just a cliché too far. But these days, between inflation and the digitization of currency, sacks of cash just didn’t express ‘value’ as effectively anymore.
But diamonds?
Oh, you better believe it.
There was just something about them that screamed ‘value.’ The glitter. The flash. The way celebs loved to flaunt them. And in the end, people are still animals. Shiny shit will flick every switch in our monkey brains that says ‘worth a lot.’ It transcends culture. Society. Wave some greenbacks in front of a man and he’s instantly suspicious about counterfeits. But show him something shinier than sin, and he’ll be all over that.
And nothing shines like diamonds. The only other way you can express cold, hard equity is with gold or, to a lesser extent, silver.
But diamonds had another asset in particular for me.
They were thematic.
And when you were making a production of a heist, you wanted a theme.
Sure, robbing a bank hit all the right notes. There wasn’t anything strictly ‘wrong’ with a bank robbery. Bad guys rob banks. Even kids get that. There’s a reason cops and robbers is still played as much as Minecraft. But bank robberies are generic. And if you wanted to get a theme going, you had to put a bit more effort into it. And when it came to villainy, I was all about the effort. Heroes paid good money to beat me up, and if I wanted to work with them again, I had to give them some bang for their buck.
Literally.
Which was why I was hanging out in Julian’s Jewels down on Market Street that early summer morning. I was dressed in casual clothes, and actually walked through the front door instead of ripping it off with a burst of magnetic power. Because for once, I wasn’t going to be the one robbing this place.
It was a good setup for a robbery, actually. Jewelry stores always had plenty of security cameras for obvious reasons, and were built to capture every angle of the place. And jewels made great portable money. You could walk away with a fortune very easily, which added to the appeal. Of course, all the stuff under the glass today was fake. No sense letting the real stuff get damaged. That’s what I told them, but the truth was I didn’t want to get hit by an insurance scam. Now and then, places like this tried to sneak in a bit of fraud when they partnered with villains to ‘rob’ them. You had to be careful with that shit.
Fortunately, after taking a look through it, I was reassured everything was going well. The glass displays ran along the walls and the center of the floor, showing off their zirconium bling. The shop was a bit smaller than I liked and lacked some headroom, but you did what you could. The most important thing was that it was busy outside. A shop like this had a lot of window space. Perfect for an audience.
And it was showtime.
I heard the bell over the door jingle and looked up from the diamonds on their velvet pad.
It was the perfect setup for Glacia, that was for sure. She fit this place like a goddam glove. Her flawless white coat just oozed class, the collar a fluff of fur that framed her strikingly gorgeous face. Her snowy white hair sat loosely around her head, her eyes hidden by a large pair of tinted sunglasses, and she walked with the sort of sharp stride that commanded attention, and little wonder. She was the daughter of one of the upper echelons of the Guild of Villainous Foes. General Winter had raised his daughter well, imbuing in her all the expectations of the moneyed class. There were families that could trace their lines back to Charlemagne that carried themselves with less aristocracy. She had the kind of look that just screamed ‘old money,’ and the salesman at the counter was instantly drawn into the gravitational pull of it.
“Hello, miss,” he said. “How may we help you?”
Glacia smiled, her lips a light pink that worked wonderfully with her pale face. She brushed a hand through her bone-white hair, tilting her head towards him with flawless ‘I’m better than you’ condescension.
“Yes,” she said, her voice a soft drawl that sent shivers down my spine, and certainly did the same for the salesman. “I was looking for a few diamonds. The truly rare ones.”
“Of course! We have an excellent variety. Here, won’t you take a look?”
I watched carefully from the corner of my eye as Glacia was led around the shop by the salesman, examining the gems under the glass carefully, the man even picking some out so she could properly scrutinize them. I wasn’t particularly worried about getting caught looking. Everyone was looking at her. Glacia drew the eye of every man and woman in the shop like a magnet. Especially when the front of her coat slipped open a little, revealing a flash of a plunging neckline. That anyone found it odd a woman was wearing such a heavy coat in this weather they didn’t show it, and I couldn’t help but feel a subtle swell of pride at the sight of her. To get the kind of attention she was currently pulling, you usually had to burst through the doors and throw some cars around. I even spotted some people looking in through the glass front of the shop to watch her.
But the opening act was nearing its end. I checked a clock on the wall. Almost 4:55. I started to edge towards the door.
“And this is a particularly valuable item,” the shopkeeper was saying, showing off a diamond ring. “Look at the purity of it. The exquisite cut! And if you hold it to the light like so, you can almost see a leaping pink panther within.”
“My my,” Glacia purred as she slid the ring onto her finger. “And a perfect fit as well! I simply must take it.”
“You will?” the shopkeeper said.
“Oh yes. Along with all the rest of your stock.”
The man’s expression fell nervously. “P-pardon?”
“Did you not hear me?” Glacia said, the air in the shop suddenly growing colder. Frost spiderwebbing over the glass display cases with a crackle. “I said I shall take it all!”
The last was shouted with a mocking laugh as Glacia rose off the floor, a blistering wind blasting through the shop and swirling around her. Patrons screamed in surprise and made a beeline for the doors, and I rode the wave of humanity.
I threw open the door and stood aside as people rushed out of the shop, the windows suddenly blasting outward under the freezing wind of Glacia’s power. That certainly got attention from the pedestrians. Quickly stepping out of the shop, I turned around and backed up, joining the crowd that was clustering with excitement. People in Metro City love a good show. Hell, most lived here just to see superheroes and villains go at it. Phones were out, recording what was going on.
Perfect.
Glacia moved about inside the shop, scooping great handfuls of jewels, bands of gold and spiderwebbed silver into her hands to admire. “Diamonds truly are a girl’s best friend,” she purred.
“Halt, villain!”
Glacia tilted her head towards the door and I followed her eyes as a figure pushed their way through the crowd. It was a woman, tall, her hair flowing about her shoulders. She wore some form-fitting spandex and her tanned skin was appealingly muscled. Confidence radiated off her, along with a warmth that I could feel even standing where I was. She brushed back her hair, and as her fingers went through those blonde locks they ignited, flashing to a mane of living flame.
“This city is under the protection of Miss Match! So unless you want to feel the burn, I suggest you surrender at once!”
Glacia burst into haughty laughter, tilting her hand and letting the jewelry pour through her fingers and back into case. “So! Some meddlesome heroine thinks she can interfere with me, hm? Well then!” Glacia cried, spreading her hands, freezing wind screaming around her as she rose off the floor like some witch of the north, her hair whirling about her, her coat flapping like white wings. “Let us see if you can face the Winter Queen!”
Ah, wonderful. That? That was primo villainess intro. The money shot. Absolute A tier. I couldn’t be happier. I actually felt my chest swell a bit in pride as Glacia unleashed a blast of freezing cold, sending it surging along the floor and walls, only for Miss Match to narrowly avoid it, the heroine sending a burst of fire into the floor, propelling her upward and somersaulting over the jagged ice before landing and sending a flurry of fireballs at Glacia.
Glacia raised a hand, a wall of ice crackling between her and the heroine, blocking the fireballs with a hiss of steam. This time, Glacia formed a bunch of icicles and sent them flying at Miss Match, who twisted out of the way, her firm breasts bouncing in her tight uniform as the spikes of ice slammed into the wall.
Not bad, I had to admit. But I was relieved too. I had tried to pair up Glacia with a real professional, and I’d fought Miss Match before, so I’d been confident they’d be able to cover for each other if push came to shove.
And now, it was time for me to go to work.
I moved away from the windows and deeper into the cheering crowd, my magnetic powers radiating outwards. I could feel the metal all over the block, allowing me to sense the general form and makeup of cellphones, wiring, loose change and mail boxes up and down the street.
I trusted Glacia to handle Miss Match, but I knew that by now some streeter hero had probably noticed the commotion. And that was the last thing I needed. Villains like Glacia and I were hired to fight cape heroes. Official superheroes. We were paid villains of the week. We caused trouble, got defeated, and all to make the heroes look good during the downtime between real menaces and world ending threats. It was a great way to build up heroes between crime waves, but not everyone played by those rules. Those were streeters. Heroes who didn’t appreciate the system and tended to solve problems their own ways. And that often involved killing the villains and royally mucking up a job.
And it looked like one had just shown up.
I looked up at the side of a building where I was sensing a particular hum of metal. I’d been in the business long enough that I knew the feeling of a gun when I felt it. I quickly glanced around but, unsurprisingly, most eyes were on the jewelry shop. Right. Better make this quick.
Using my powers, I pushed my bracers and anklets off the ground, lifting myself rapidly into the air. As I went, my powers pushed on the interlocking plates of metal to deploy my helmet, hiding my features behind a V shaped visor.
Rule number one: always wear a mask.
I rose over the lip of the nearby building and landed lightly on the roof. Yep. As I expected, there was some moron crouched up here like a fucking gargoyle. He was dressed in a black cape and a mask designed to look like a hawk’s beak, his eyes fixed on the jewelry store, and he was muttering to himself. Magic? God, I hoped not. Magic heroes and mythics in general were the worst. I moved a little closer to try and hear him.
“…trying to rob the good city. But little could she have known that the Hawk was watching. For the Hawk sees all, and his prey will not elude him.”
Oh great, a narrator type. Only thing worse than magic. Bad enough when your hero thinks he’s out to save the world, but when he gets some Main Character syndrome, that’s when things get bad.
And by the look of the guy, it was pretty clear he was trying to be Batman without incurring the wrath of copyright infringement. He probably had a trust fund to finance his heroing, which was doubly troublesome because if I had to kill him, I’d probably get his family on my ass. Then again, most guys like him were orphans. Having no parents and lots of money always brought out the weirdness in people.
But better not bank on it either way. I cleared my throat. “Hey.”
Hawk whirled in surprise, drawing himself up and showing off some Kevlar abs and a belt full of no doubt thematic shaped weapons. Also guns. Dammit. If you’re going to cosplay Batman, the least you could do is go the no guns rule. Make everyone’s lives easier.
“An enemy has tried to sneak up upon the Hawk!” he growled as his hands flew to his belt. “Or, perhaps, a friend? No. No, he’s not. The Hawk recognized him then. It’s the Menacing Magneron! Villain and scourge of Metro City!”
Menacing Magneron, huh? Damn, that was pretty good. I might need to steal that one.
“Yeah, alright,” I said, pointing at him, already having my magnetic powers humming around his gear’s magnetic fields. “Look. Don’t make a scene. How about you just quietly fuck off and we can forget this ever happened. Alright?”
“He sought to bribe the Hawk. To make the great hero and protector of the city forget his sworn duty,” Hawk muttered, crouching. “But little did he know the Hawk would never ignore a crime and those responsible. For he was a hero above all else, and would never negotiate with the enemy of law and justice. ‘Ha ha!’ The Hawk said. ‘Do you truly believe a hero would be willing to ignore such a scene? That would destroy any right he had to call himself a defender of the weak!’”
“Are you… are you quoting yourself?” I said.
The hero jolted in surprise. “The Hawk was shocked!” the Hawk growled, his hands inching to his weapons. “He had heard Magneron had powerful magnetic powers, but he did not know the villain could also read minds. A lesser hero would have balked at taking on such a menacing foe, but not The Hawk!”
…Alright, looked like we had a bit more crazy than the usual going on here.
Stupid too, seeing as he then tried to pull out the two guns holstered at his side.
“Ha!” he shouted, taking aim at me.
Only for both his weapons to fly out of his hands at a flick of my finger.
The Hawk watched his guns clatter away, then looked at me. “The Hawk was not surprised the villain had such skill,” he growled, reaching again into his belt. “But a Hawk prepares for any circumstances when stalking his prey. For he always has a plan!”
“Did it involve these?” I asked, jerking my hand to manipulate the magnetism around his belt. It wasn’t even hard. His utility belt was so loaded with gadgets and other crap that it ripped right off him and flew into my waiting hand.
"So,” I said, tossing his belt over my shoulder and across the roof. “What was plan B?”
The Hawk scowled and tensed, bringing up his fists. “No matter!” he barked. “The Hawk would not be deterred merely by that. For the Hawk was also a master in hand-to-hand combat!”
I tilted my head, sensing the metal in his mask. “That earpiece in your hood send calls?” I asked.
The Hawk scowled. “What?”
“Of course it does,” I said, and moved my hand towards him. His body armour began to hum, and the Hawk looked down in surprise as he felt the metal vibrate. He must have realized something was happening because he reached for his chest to try and pull his kevlar suit off, but man, it was way too late for that.
Hawk yelped as he was suddenly yanked backwards across the rooftop, slamming into the nearby air conditioning unit that took up an entire corner of the building, his bodysuit, the talons in his gloves, and the spikes of his boots instantly magnetized to the air conditioner’s metal siding.
There we go.
I dusted off my hands in satisfaction. “I suggest you call for help with that earpiece of yours,” I said. “Hopefully they’ll be able to pick you up before you start getting dehydrated.”
“B-bastard!” the Hawk shouted, wriggling. “Though inconvenienced, the Hawk will see justice done!”
“Yeah, okay. Have fun with that,” I said, glancing down over the side of the building. Looked like Glacia was just about done down there, but I had to make sure her escape went off without a hitch. Leaving the Hawk to bang against the metal air conditioner, I floated quickly through the air and across the street. Now, the back entrance to the jewelry shop should be right…
Ah, there it was.
And just in time.
I heard a loud, “Next time, you will learn the bitter chill of the Winter Queen!” and saw a sudden blast of frosty air burst from the doors and windows of the diamond shop, causing an utter whiteout. Perfect. Stepping over the edge of the building I dropped down behind the jewelry shop and near the loading dock, right where I’d parked my old Honda Civic. I had my helmet peel back even as I swept my powers over my car, giving it a quick check and confirming that there weren’t any sudden bombs under it, then I threw open the driver’s side door and got in.
A second later the backdoor of the shop flew open and Glacia bounded out of it, her pale face flushed with excitement and her normally schooled features smiling with girlish glee. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I threw open the passenger side door, Glacia jumping in beside me before slamming it shut.
I immediately stepped on the gas, my car jerking into motion down the alleyway and rejoining regular traffic, slowing down as soon as we had. I sincerely doubted Miss Match would try following us. That wasn’t part of the contract, but you couldn’t be too careful in this business. Some other hero might have been lurking around. Plus, getting filmed doing the getaway might have undercut the victory. We were meant to lose convincingly, after all, and it looked like we’d managed that.
Panting, Glacia turned my way, beaming in excitement. “Did I do well, sir?” she asked.
“Fantastic,” I said honestly. “You killed in there! Not literally of course,” I added, and a good thing too. Being a villain for hire was already skirting the law, but killing a civilian or, worse, the hero you were being paid to fight was a guaranteed way to fuck your career. “Did you make sure to avoid damaging the cameras during the fight?”
“I believe so, sir,” she said, nodding eagerly. “As you instructed, I did my best to avoid having my frost be too cold. Although, the temperature or steam may have done so regardless…”
I shrugged. “Well, we can only control so much. Besides, with all the phones the crowd had out, I’m sure they got some great shots. And your escape worked great,” I added. “The whiteout was perfect. Although we may need to look into your disguise a bit,” I added.
“Disguise, sir?”
“For when you escape,” I said. “We can’t have you dropping into the sewer or flying away each time. Someone is bound to notice. And your costume as it is is pretty eye catching.”
That was for damn sure. I could hardly keep my eyes on the road with Glacia sitting beside me. With her jacket open, it was impossible not to see how her suit clung to her curves in all the right ways, and her body was enough to make a man hot and bothered even if he showered with ice cubes. The very picture of classical beauty, my eyes ran along her figure, from her heeled boots to her plunging collar. I had to clear my throat and shake it off before I drifted into the oncoming lane.
“I see, sir,” Glacia said thoughtfully. “Much like your costume can recede with your powers?”
“Right. Exactly. It allows me to blend in with the crowd,” I said, though even if Glacia was able to do that, I kind of doubted she’d be able to hide as well as me. She turned heads no matter what. “And having a change of clothes hidden isn’t really going to cut it. There’s not always going to be a convenient phone booth to change in, and you can’t count on some homeless guy not coming across your stuff and stealing it.”
“Yes. Of course,” Glacia mused. “Perhaps I might costume myself with my powers as well?”
“How would you do that?” I asked.
“An armour of ice would look quite fetching, sir,” she said.
I had a sudden vision of Glacia standing in a suit of blocky ice, utterly naked beneath.
“Sir? Are you alright? You look a bit red.”
“Uh, fine. Fine,” I said quickly. “Ah, but that one might not work. They’d probably still be able to see your civilian clothes underneath. But it’s a good idea. Maybe try experimenting a bit and figuring out a good look for it. We’ll talk to Dolly and see if she has anything.”
“You really think so, sir?” she asked, leaning in close, her blue eyes sparkling.
“Hey! Part of being a villain is always finding new uses of your powers,” I said. “And you’ve got one with some real potential.”
Glacia preened in delight. “Thank you, sir. I am glad you approve.”
“Of course. You are my second in command,” I reminded her.
Which was a somewhat empty title at the moment, seeing as my entire ‘evil’ organization consisted of me, Glacia, the psychic Psyren, and my personal mad scientist and half sheep-girl Dolly. But after my performance at Psyren’s last concert, I’d sort of locked myself into the role of evil overlord of a team of superpowered women. I hadn’t done much with the idea since, but it was high time I started, because questions were going to start getting asked.
Speaking of… I checked the dash clock and grunted. Shit. I was late. “Glacia?” I said. “Do you think you’d be able to fly back to the chalet?”
“You mean the Fortress of Doom?”
“Sorry, the what?”
“Psyren, Dolly and I have been discussing new names for our lair, sir. Fortress of Doom is currently in the lead, although I do not think it properly conveys the depth of your villainous powers. But do not worry, sir. It is merely a working title. We will not decide on one without your final clearance. We are, after all, your minions.”
“Er, right. Yeah. Do you think you’d be okay if I dropped you off outside the city? I still have a few… errands to run.”
“Ah,” she said, her expression darkening. “You are referring to meeting with the Heroes of Earth.”
“Yeah. That,” I said, hardly surprised by her cold tone. And not just because of her power set. Glacia’s father, General Winter, had been thwarted by the Heroes of Earth several times in the past. To be fair though, the HoE were very good at thwarting. Prime thwarters. It was almost an honour to be thwarted by such a distinguished collection of heroes.
Of course, the villains likely never saw it that way. But there had never been much follow through from the Heroes of Earth against the General. Not only because actually trying to take him on at his Winter Palace was likely to go very badly, but also because he was a founding member of the Guild of Villainous Foes. Though not exactly a true alliance, the Guild did represent some of the most dangerous villains on the planet, all of whom had banded together to ensure they could menace the world with death rays, gateways to demonic dimensions, and the occasional rain of giant frogs. And if heroes tried to go after one of them outside of a plot, then the whole organization would come down on them.
Honestly, the world was really lucky big villains were egotistical psychos bad at sharing. If the Guild ever managed to move as a group, they could conquer the world within a week. Then again, if villains didn’t fight like cats in a sack, would they really be villains? Only one person can rule the world in the end, and even when big name villains teamed up it was inevitably to just backstab one another later.
Fortunately, I wasn’t interested in world domination. Too messy and far too much work. Knocking over a bank was more my style, though I might have to scale that up a bit going forward, since I was apparently leading a villainous organization. The trick was convincing the HoE that I wasn’t really out to conquer the world. And if I failed?
...Well, best not to think about it.
“Sir, I would like to point out that it would be foolish in the extreme to enter there alone,” Glacia noted. “You would be surrounded by heroes!”
“This is true,” I said. “But the alternative is having them show up at the chalet to pick me up.”
“They would never lay a hand upon you, sir,” Glacia said firmly. “We would not let them.”
Well, maybe. Honestly, the chalet could probably put up a bit of a fight. It had when Dolly’s former boss showed up. The new death ray she’d installed would probably do some real damage. But again, the objective wasn’t to declare war on heroes. I was paid to lose to them in the end, and getting my face plastered on a Most Wanted list wasn’t going to help that.
“It’s just a conversation,” I said. “They’ve got nothing to arrest me on.”
“If you say so, sir,” Glacia said. “But I must insist I go with you. Your second in command must attend such a meeting, even if only to ensure that you are not to be harmed.”
“Well…”
“And showing your power would be vital to ensure they treat you seriously, sir,” she added.
Hmm. She had a point. Though showing up with the General’s daughter might seem like I was picking a fight, at the same time it would be a pretty clear ‘don’t fuck with me’ move. And Glacia was very powerful in her own right. Anyone who tried something with her would be looking for a pretty brutal beating.
I sighed. “You’re not going to let up on this, are you?”
Glacia shifted awkwardly in her seat. “I am merely concerned, sir,” she said sincerely. “I do not think you should allow yourself to be put in such a weak position. A show of force may be necessary.”
“Well…”
She suddenly touched my arm, and I found her glittering blue eyes gazing up at me. “You are not alone anymore, sir,” she said.
“I… suppose not,” I said. I knew she was trying to manipulate me here, but that didn’t mean she was wrong. I wasn’t on my own anymore. Which had brought me a fair bit of trouble so far, but there were a number of upsides. Three of them, as a matter of fact. Three gorgeous villainesses that were more than happy to work under me.
Well, I supposed it wouldn’t be the worst thing to have Glacia come along. So long as I got some assurances they weren’t looking to lock me up the second I stepped foot on the premises. The HoE were heroes down to the core, and a big part of that was holding themselves to their word. I could respect that a lot. Not only as a man, but as a businessman. In my line of work, you were only as good as your word, and your name carried a lot of weight. Especially as a villain.
“Alright,” I said as I switched lanes. “You can come with me. But remember,” I told her firmly. “We’re not there to start shit. At least, not unless they start it first.”
“I will remember, sir. Do not worry. I will be on my best behaviour,” she said, schooling her expression.
Well, that was one less thing to worry about, I supposed. Now, all I needed was to handle this meeting in the very heart of one of the biggest hero organizations in the country, not get arrested, into a super brawl, and convince them I’m not out to conquer the world.
…Well, stranger things have happened.