Hands On Teaching
Was I being an idiot?
Probably.
Actually, scratch that. Definitely. There were a thousand reasons not to take a fight with these would-be heroes. Not the least was the fact I wasn’t getting paid for it. Unless my life was in danger, I didn’t willingly fight people. It cheapened the merchandise. Plus, I disliked others getting a feel for how I really fought. Sure, they’d seen me battle heroes before. It was my whole job. But those were more or less scripted, and only made people underestimate what I could really do. Which was handy in itself.
Yes, there were plenty of reasons not to fight these guys.
But there was one reason why I had to.
See, I didn’t care if people badmouthed me. Fuck it. Let them say what they wanted. It was my job to lose to heroes. I’d heard it all.
But insulting Glacia?
No way was I going to let that slide.
So yeah, maybe I was being stupid.
But hell, sometimes, you had to be.
Not that I was particularly worried about my life here. Now that I was sure the Heroes of Earth weren’t looking for my head, I wasn’t exactly threatened by a cocky sidekick. But underestimating your opponent was a quick way to the grave, so I’d take him down. Fine. But I was about as enthusiastic about it as the Felonious Feline was about a bath.
To my surprise we got a fair-sized audience by the time we reached the practice ring. Word traveled fast around the Hall of Heroes. I even spotted most of the bigshots for the Heroes of Earth observing from among the stands. There was Hot Stuff, the fiery heroine’s hair a mass of living lava. I spotted the Rubbernecker chatting with her, the elastic hero’s body tight in his yellow and red jump suit, and even the furry bulk that was the Brute was out today, looking like a cross between a wrestler, a wolf, and a yeti. Hell of a crowd, I mused as I climbed up into the arena, taking my position while the sidekick took his on the opposite side, pulling on his mask. With the champion-looking belt, robe, and the glove, that likely meant he was a close combat style fighter, and judging by his fancy glove, I was willing to bet he went in for punches.
Well, that worked for me.
“Good crowd to witness your defeat!” my opponent said, looking about at the stands around the arena.
“Whatever,” I sighed. “Can we get this over with? I missed lunch.”
His sneer came back as he dropped into a fighting crouch, one arm forward, raising his gloved fist before his face. “Ha! You won’t talk like that for long, villain. Because you face Mister Fister!”
…
Dear God he was serious.
“That’s your name?” I said.
“Of course! I took it on after my years of training. Every day for weeks I would go behind my house and punch a boulder that sat there until it broke! Then, I trained in the ancient martial arts under the esteemed Tibetan master Hung Fo, honing my fist into the potent weapon it is today. And now, with my training complete, I am Mister Fister! And with my fist of justice, I will crush any villain I find!”
Holy fuck. The internet was absolutely going to eat him alive. Just like they did with the Erector and his Mighty Spear. Poor bastard hadn’t even lasted a week before he retired. There was no coming back from those headlines.
“Alright. Sure. Can we do this now?” I said.
“Your tough guy act won’t fool me!” Fister said. “Now, get ready for a fisting!”
Jesus. Killing this guy would almost be a mercy. “Seriously? Which hero do you even work under?” I said.
“I call Mister Invincible my master!”
Ah, okay. Now things were starting to make sense.
“Alright, buddy,” I said, spreading my hands, letting my magnetic powers begin to resonate with everything metal inside the ring. “Let’s get this over with.”
“Fine with me. Now, taste my fiiiiiiiiist!” he shouted, rushing towards me.
Kid was fast, I’d give him that. He crossed the ground in barely three steps, each one propelling him forward several feet. His gloved hand crackled, fire engulfing his fist like a torch. Seemed he had some power to back him up. No wonder he was recruited into the Heroes of Earth.
And if he was fighting anyone else, that might have been enough.
I dropped, sweeping his legs with a kick. Fister hadn’t been expecting that, and I felt the heat of his flaming fist swing over my head before the rest of him followed. He nearly tripped on me as he went down, but managed to catch himself, bounding back to his feet and whirling back around to face me.
“Ha!” he shouted, trying to punch me again, but I just had my magnetic powers pull on my bracers, jerking me out of reach before his fist had a chance to connect.
“Come on. I’m waiting,” I said.
His face reddened and he threw himself at me again, but it was getting pretty predictable. Sure, he was fast, but he was only fighting with his fist. A lot of heroes did that. They leaned on the most basic property of their powers to the detriment of everything else.
Well, lesson time.
I wasn’t too surprised to find he was still carrying a fair bit of metal on him. Coming at me like he did showed a distinct lack of planning, and when your mentor is literally indestructible, he probably showcased a certain degree of recklessness.
Worked for me either way.
I resonated my powers with the buckle of his belt and gave it a push. Fister yelped as his legs suddenly flew out from under him midstride, sending him face first onto the arena floor. Ooh, that looked like it hurt.
“Alright, enough,” I said, flicking my fingers.
His belt buckle jerked back, repelled from me by my powers, dragging him across the floor of the arena and towards the edge. Fister shook his head as he recovered from the initial impact, realized what was happening and frantically reached down. No. He wouldn’t…
But he did.
“Ha ha!” he cried, finally undoing his belt, his pants dragged off him and allowing him to bound back to his feet, fist up and in just his boxers. “Your dirty tricks won’t be enough to beat me, villain!”
“Seriously man, just stop,” I sighed, utterly exasperated.
“Never! I don’t even know the meaning of the word!”
That I could believe. But this was just getting embarrassing. Alright. Time to end this.
I reached out with my hands, compelling my powers to grab some of the training equipment around the arena. People shouted in surprise as weights, practice dummies, and more lifted off the ground, soaring through the air and straight towards Fister. To his credit, he saw it coming. As the dumbbells flew at him he evaded them, backflipping over them an instant before they hit him, instead letting them harmlessly smash into the arena floor with a crash.
“Ha! Ha! Ha!” he cried, bounding backwards as more equipment slammed into the arena, following him. He finally finished, landing on his feet as the last piece of gear, a punching bag, thudded into the floor. He straightened, smirking at me.
Ah.
I loved this part.
His grin fell a little at the sight of my smile. Then he looked back, and realized he was at the edge of the arena. He turned back to me as the various pieces of training gear rose back into the air.
“Bye,” I said, flicked my fingers.
And sent every piece at him all at once.
His fist lashed out, and I saw why he’d been recruited by the Heroes of Earth. He batted away several dumbbells, a couple training dummies, and even some sandbags before a bench got him, plowing into his stomach and driving the air out of him.
The impact knocked him clear of the arena and onto the ground beyond it with a heavy oomph.
There we go.
But just to be sure, I dropped a couple of the punching bags on him, each one dragging a pained groan from him. Kinda petty, sure. But he’d been asking for it.
I lowered my hands, releasing the magnetic hold on the equipment. Turning around as the remaining pieces crashed to the ground, I walked off the arena and rejoined Glacia. She beamed, and I had to admit my chest puffed up a little at the sight of her delight. Valkyria was standing near her, along with a seething Olympia.
“Guess we’re done here,” I said.
“So it seems,” Valkyria said coolly. “Thank you for your time.”
“No problem. Glacia?” I said.
“Here, sir!” she said happily, joining me at once.
But as we walked away, I could feel the eyes of the heroes of the place staring at me, and almost at once I felt my good mood fade. Haa.
I sure hoped this didn’t come back to bite me in the ass…